Does the moon get lonely?

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Traveling alone is one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had the opportunity to do. Over 25k miles across the United States in the past year…  through the backroads and big cities to see the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets from lighthouses, beaches, colorful waters, the highest mountains, and everywhere in between.


It is rare when I miss my goal of having an intentional conversation with a stranger. I pass out a few business cards every day too. I’m often surrounded by masses of people.
Yet, one thing drifts into my life many nights.


Loneliness.


Often it is comforted by the aloneness I feel from the inside. I am very lucky to have a solid and positive relationship with myself.
There are however, a few times here and there, when loneliness strikes hard.
It does make sense, I don’t really fit in anywhere with many people. I live an adventurous life but I don’t follow many cultural norms.

I often feel very boring and left out…
I don’t drink or smoke.
I rarely eat out as I still struggle with my relationship with food.
I don’t have a partner to call or friends who can come along. 


I spend my days listening to the stories of the people I meet along the way, knowing the relationship will end soon and I will be back to my own little world without much of a fanfare.


I have spent the last month without physically seeing anyone that I know. 30 days without real contact with a friend or family member. I spend 20+ hours everyday alone with only the thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart, and the feet that carry me along the way…


Tonight, as I wandered off on an Adventure, I’m sitting here watching the full moon rise over the Atlantic Ocean… no stars… no clouds… just a brisk wind carry the sound of the waves across my heart while I sit here and wonder…


Do you think the moon gets lonely?


My personal experiment of 30 days is nothing compared to what many people have had to go through the past year… a year of being forced to be alone without energetic contact, or physical touch, or emotional connection with someone close.
As the next step unfolds and the beginning of the aftershock begins to hit, I can’t help but wonder what the lasting effects are going to be of the massive isolation movement hidden behind masks and fear and reintegration into the future of society.
What I see on the road is much different than what I see on social media and the news. I wish I could say one is better or right or more predictable… but I can’t.


What I do know is that there is going to be some difficulties ahead.


All humans want love and attention communicated in a way they understand. People want to be seen, heard, and affirmed.
Here is a simple formula to give positive attention to anyone so we can work to improve the positive energy and reduce the destructive behaviors that follow when people begin to seek validation l through unhealthy means.


3 steps to Positive Attention


Seen

1. Focused Attention: Give the person you’re with your full attention.

Heard

2. Listen to Understand: Become passionately curious about them and what they’re saying (and what they’re not saying) without judgment and ridicule.

Affirmed

3. Leave a Profit: People don’t always need a response or guidance, they just need/want to verbally process what is in their head. Keep your ears open and mouth shut… it will go a long way to healing and providing a positive step in a better direction.


I encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member. Maybe you need an ear or maybe they need an smile.


Share some positivity today.

Give some kindness today.

Fill your heart with Joy today.


And no matter how lonely you are, remember the moon shines it’s brightest all alone.

Take the Detour…

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Detours…

We have access to the most precise technology ever imagined. We plan our day, our travel, our everything based on the little device we hold in our had. We know EXACTLY where we are going, what the weather will be, how to get there, and even what the distance and time will be from here to there. We type it in our little device and hit ‘GO’! and we are off to our destination. We don’t even have to think anymore… we just get in the plane, train, or automobile and we let the unknowns and uncertainties brush off our shoulders so we can focus on the more urgent tasks of the day.

But… then…

Have you ever been driving and missed a turn, had to slow down because of construction, or even had to stop for rush hour traffic?

How did that make you feel?

Did you get frustrated or angry?

Where you stressed or anxious?

How did you physically and verbally react the situation?

Have you ever wondered why?…

What creates the reactions you have when you are faced with something that doesn’t fit your “plan”?

Let’s look into this for just a moment.

What is your reaction?

Why do you react this way?

How would you prefer to respond to setbacks and adversities?

Have you ever sat back and thought about how much longer it actually takes when you turn on the wrong road or have to go 5-10 mph under your desired speed?

It is under 5 minutes in most cases. (Yes, I know there are ALWAYS exceptions to the circumstances.)

Is the thought of ‘losing’ 5 minutes worth losing the personal power over your thoughts, feelings, and actions for the rest of the day?

Are you really in that big of a hurry to get where you are going?

Is 5 minutes really going to make of break the rest of your life?

If it is, I have some bold news to pass along to you.

Look in the mirror, it is your fault.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break your entire day, then you have set yourself up with the thoughts, feelings, and actions which have taken you to this point. The insistent need to take care of the urgencies and emergencies you have rather than focusing on the major priorities has led you too exactly where you are.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break you, I would suggest you start with looking at where you are mentally, physically, emotionally so you can align yourself with reality… knowing where you truly are is the best step you can take to moving forward in the BEST possible direction, FOR YOU!

Start where you are… and then you can begin to work to where you want to go.

That sounds harsh Gary…. Thank you for blaming me for all my own problems… but… but… but… it is not my fault…

Yes, I understand how you feel. I felt the same way in my own life until I found out that I am the only person that has power over my thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is up to me to focus my attention on what I can control versus all the things I can’t. Then, I had to learn to listen to myself to understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. Listening to myself without judgment or ridicule allowed me to find the weak spots in my day so I knew where to focus my efforts.

Then, I had to set myself up to be better in the future… Leaving a profit in my own life. Learning to focus my energy on the KNOWNS vs the unknowns and uncertainties allowed me to live in the present. Living in the NOW is truly the only way we can live a JOYFUL and HAPPY life.

Attempting to live in the past creates the suffering of loss and depression.

Attempting to live in the future creates the suffering of worry and anxiety.

Attempting to live in the now releases the tension between the past and the present allowing more of our emotional energy to be used toward more positive thoughts, more desirable behaviors, and creating the best possible environment we can surround ourselves with to thrive.

Living our best life truly comes from being present and living in the NOW.

But Gary, how do we do that?

The best first step is to STOP!

(You are going to meditate for less than 60 seconds. This will be how to create your own “state” of NOW. Learning to STOP and TAKE A BREATH is the way for you to learn to dam the river of negativity and break the cycle of undesirable thoughts and emotions to curb the destructive behaviors that follow.)

The next best step is to close your eyes (if you are in a safe place to do so) take a HUGE BREATH IN and then a HUGE RELIEVEING BREATH OUT.

(Breath in the Sunshine… breath out the Darkness…)

Then ask 3 primary questions:

What am I feeling?

Why am I feeling this way?

How can I take the best first step forward in a more positive direction?

NOW GO!

Take that first step in the new direction! The moment you hesitate, you lost your ‘state’, and you will be heading back down the old path that led you to where you are today. Fear fills the empty space between thought and action. If you hesitate, the negative self-talk monster will show up and begin eating your courage away from you.

Don’t worry about making mistakes or how long it will take or even if you will get all the way to the end…

There is no course map.

There is no pacer.

There is no finish line.

There is no time limit.

There is only the direction of your heart, the focus of your mind, and the step you are in that will lead you everywhere you want to go… or nowhere at all.

Take the wrong turns…

Slowdown in traffic…

Accept the detours…

Live your best life by learning to make the best of today, healing from yesterday, and dreaming about tomorrow knowing by doing the best you can today, all your tomorrows will compound into more than you can ever imagine.

Always cheering for you,

Gary

What’s your best 1st step forward?

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So how do I get started? Here’s my advice for taking the first step toward better fitness and health.

What’s your “WHY”? What do you REALLY want out of this? Do you want to be healthy, lose some weight or look great in a Speedo? Or do you want to have the energy to play with your kids, be more attentive with your spouse and become a better person to be around. My “WHY” was the second set of reasons, not the first. When I felt like giving up, these were the reasons I didn’t grab the second plate of food, I went for the walk, I woke up early and stayed focused even when I didn’t want to. Find your “WHY” and take relentless massive action toward it!

Don’t focus on too much too fast. Pick one or two things and work really hard on them for 30 days. If you are doing really well, add something new. If not, refocus and make sure you put the habits in place that will carry you! I would rather focus on changing the underlying cause of the problem than just the symptoms. When you find a problem, go after the source!

Stick to a schedule. I prefer an “everyday” activity because this is how I built my daily disciplines. I would oversleep and then drive my happy tail across town and sit in my car at the rec center instead of just saying screw it for the day and getting an extra 20 minutes of sleep. I slowly started getting up a little earlier and working out for 10 minutes. I finally got tired of it so I started getting up on time and putting in a full workout. This has been one of the top 3 disciplines I have cemented over the past 3 years. Don’t underestimate that one missed workout. I believe it’s more important to go through the motions than it is to actually workout.

Be Positive, Be Patient, Be Persistent. I’m adding this because it is my mantra. I hate waiting. I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! So I repeat this statement everyday while I drink my coffee. (I seriously had it put on my coffee cup as a reminder) I used to weigh myself 4 times a day. Was it obsessive? Yes. Did it work for me? Yes. I also know people who only weigh themselves once a week. They have had tremendous success with it. As with your whole plan- trial and error & and find out what works best for YOU!!!

Don’t over complicate it. I know it is tempting to read every book, blog and try something new every week when you aren’t seeing instant results. Find a plan and work it every single day. If you screw today up, forget about it. It’s gone. You can’t do anything about it… Don’t dwell on the bad day- move on. Minimize the bad days and maximize the good days. To this day, this is still my focus. If I mess up a day, I move on and get back on track tomorrow. Don’t have two bad days in a row!

With running- run when you can, walk if you have to, but never ever finish early. I couldn’t run a full block when I started. It sucked. It was hard. We worked on it and followed our plan and let time work in our favor. I’m not here to B.S. you- it’s going to be hard. It’s going to take time. Days when you don’t want to get off the couch. Days when you want to eat everything in sight. Days when you just don’t feel like it. There are going to be days when you want to quit. DON’T! It is so worth sticking it out and being uncomfortable. Think of your “WHY” to get you through the hard days.

Whatever you do, however you do it, start TODAY!!! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is too far away. What you do today (good or bad) effects all of your tomorrows. Start with a piece of paper, write down your “WHY”, make plan, post your plan where you will read it every day and start taking action! Stop waiting and stop overthinking. Just start with what you can do right now. Your future self will thank you!

Are you joining us for Self Care is the Best Care?? Self Care is the Best Care

Slow Down…

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Slow down?

Really Gary? That’s your advice for me?… I thought you were here to help me do more, get more, accomplish more?… What kind of advice is SLOW DOWN?

Slow down…

Just for a few minutes, slow down. Even better, slow down and give yourself some positive focused attention… for just a moment. When you STOP you will find out exactly where you are.

Where is your head going?

Where is your mouth running?

Where is your heart longing?

Where are your feet standing?

Are you aligned and heading in the same direction of productivity?… or are you moving 100 different directions which takes you into a circle and spiral of busy?

So often we are ‘busy’ because it “feels” good rather than ‘productive’ because it “feels” slow… yet what ‘feels’ good now is probably going to hurt later and what is uncomfortable now is more likely to provide more Joy in the future.

I ask you once again to slow down and even STOP for just a moment. Let your head, mouth, heart, and feet realign so you can take the best step forward in the NOW rather than continuing the spiraling effect of busy always running to the next urgency or emergency rather than taking a moment to organize your priorities that will move you forward in the best way for YOU.

If you are looking for a Jump Start, Kick Start, or Fresh Start and want a little guidance and community please check out the upcoming events and sign up today. Some are free and some are a small fee.

Self Care is the Best Care

I challenge you to 100 days of Growth!

See you soon!

Consistent Daily Discipline

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“Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” Jim Rohn

If there is one idea that separates winning from losing, it is the discipline of daily personal development. I spend several hours a week improving myself mentally. Reading books and articles, listening to speakers, presentations, podcasts and anything else I can get my hands on. Over the past 12 years I have learned the importance of self-education and personal responsibility. Although I may not be successful (depends on who’s judging), I know a thing or two about being young and getting what I want. I’m here to share a few things I started in my 20’s and I hope you find value in the ideas below. I know how valuable your time is.

Goals- If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never arrive. Know your vision and take consistent and massive action toward your goals. Personally, I’m a dreamer. I’m willing to go for failure and I don’t worry about how hard it is going to be or how long it is going to take. A goal is never too big if I’m focused and willing to take the action needed to accomplish it. Once I set a goal, I reduce it to writing and put it on my vision board. I read it 5+ times a day as though I have already accomplished it. I become so focused on my goal(s) that I can’t sleep because I want to wake up and start taking action toward it. If you aren’t working toward your goals, you’ll be working toward someone else’s goals.

Wake up early- I don’t know about you, but in college, I never took a class before 11am. I stayed up late and I didn’t make it to most of my afternoon classes either. I was never stressed and had plenty of time to do what I wanted. As I have grown up and started a family, I have learned how important alone time is. I now make it a priority to wake up and get started while the rest of the world is sleeping. Most days, I have my personal development, exercise, my “hour of power”, goal setting/review, breakfast and a cup of coffee done before 7. If you struggle with “I don’t have time” consider waking up early. I’ve studied many millionaires, billionaires and highly successful people and most of them wake up early and start working on their goals and dreams. If waking up early is good enough for them it’s good enough for me.

Be coachable- I have found more people willing to help me because I have an open mind, work ethic, my willingness to try something new and my love for learning. Not all knowledge is useful, and you may not find value in everything you try. I can tell you from experience though, I’ve learned more from failure and how not to do something than I have from succeeding. The best part about being coachable, you can find someone who has been through the school of hard knocks and they can save you time and energy if you will just listen and discuss. I’ve been told one of life’s greatest pleasures is mentoring someone who is willing to be mentored. I’ve attracted some pretty awesome mentors up to this point!

Be self-confident- Yes, you may be young, but does that mean you aren’t a professional? NO! This has been one of the most difficult business tasks I’ve had to overcome. I see myself as young and assumed more prominent people looked at me the same way. I had a fear of calling on someone with a prominent title… The more and more I have interacted with older professionals, the more I have learned they are normal people. Don’t let your age or lack of a title get in your way from making a contact that could spring board your future! If you don’t believe in yourself, don’t expect anyone else to either.

Be a professional and become an expert in your field- Yes a first impression is important, but give me 5 minutes with someone and I will show why we should do business together.  Let me demonstrate my knowledge and expertise and not only will earn their business, they will come back again and bring their friends. You can act your age or you can become a professional. Just remember, they pay accordingly.

Take full responsibility- This is life changing if you’ll take it serious. You can’t expect someone else to take care of you. Whether you’re 18, 20, 25, 30 or older, it is time to grow up and take responsibility for your future. If you don’t take full responsibility for your future, someone else will. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. If you are willing to work hard, be coachable and always be learning, you will not only find more opportunities, but you will create opportunities.

Start the process with a little self-evaluation. Be honest and open with yourself. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Pick one area and start working on it right now! YOU are the only person who can change your thoughts and actions. I promise, make the decision to work on yourself every day and you open a door to endless possibilities!

If you don’t learn to discipline yourself, the universe will discipline you according to your thoughts, actions, and emotions. What you do today effects ALL of your tomorrows…

What ACTION! will you take today!?

Where did our common sense go!?

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Suffering through disagreement and discontent

Where did our common sense go?

If we do good, good comes back.

If we do bad, bad comes back.

If we give, we will receive.

If we love, we discover be love.

If we hate, we find be hatred.

If we eat poorly, poor health will follow.

If we sit stagnate, the body will deteriorate.

If we move, we will create motion.

If we overspend, we will overpay.

If we save, we will gain.

If we lack tolerance, we will become intolerant.

If we lose self-discipline, the universe will discipline us.

Cultural media and marketing platforms have modified social norms to manipulate expectations and condition emotional reactions. Media and marketing has changed the perception of reality and disconnected the common sense of cause and effect. There are millions of people who believe they can get before they give. Many who look at wood and expect heat… before they build the fire.  

The loss of common sense is the great tragedy of life.

The Laws of the Universe have been set forth by a force much greater than human comprehension. Man cannot cheat or change the laws.

What we focus on is what we get.

We might not like the laws.

We may have temporary feelings about the laws.

We cannot, however, change the laws…

They Laws of the Universe are the laws of the universe and they cannot be changed by man. If humans do not reconnect to common sense and self-discipline, the universe will continue to discipline humans into nonexistence through immense physical pain and emotional suffering.

How to Overcome Fear and Anxiety

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Learn to step out of your mind and into reality so you can reduce the tension sitting between your ears.

Here is my simple questioning process to move through fear  and into action and if you are willing to follow my lead, you will find where Sunshine meets Hope through the darkness of adversities and failures.

  • What is my fear?
  • Why am I fearful?
    • What’s the best possible outcome? 
    • What’s the worst possible outcome?  
    • What’s the most likely outcome?
  • How can I move through my fears?

NOW GO, TAKE ACTION, NOW!

The moment you let time drift in between thought and action, fear will fill the empty space as you watch your dreams drift into dust.

Find the strength and courage to move through fear with patience and persistence starting with your strengths, moving into your weaknesses. Eventually you will discover the unknown places you want to explore. Now you have designed your personal process to attract the success you desire.

For more check out Success is Spelled ACTION! on Amazon, TODAY!