Does the moon get lonely?

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Traveling alone is one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had the opportunity to do. Over 25k miles across the United States in the past year…  through the backroads and big cities to see the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets from lighthouses, beaches, colorful waters, the highest mountains, and everywhere in between.


It is rare when I miss my goal of having an intentional conversation with a stranger. I pass out a few business cards every day too. I’m often surrounded by masses of people.
Yet, one thing drifts into my life many nights.


Loneliness.


Often it is comforted by the aloneness I feel from the inside. I am very lucky to have a solid and positive relationship with myself.
There are however, a few times here and there, when loneliness strikes hard.
It does make sense, I don’t really fit in anywhere with many people. I live an adventurous life but I don’t follow many cultural norms.

I often feel very boring and left out…
I don’t drink or smoke.
I rarely eat out as I still struggle with my relationship with food.
I don’t have a partner to call or friends who can come along. 


I spend my days listening to the stories of the people I meet along the way, knowing the relationship will end soon and I will be back to my own little world without much of a fanfare.


I have spent the last month without physically seeing anyone that I know. 30 days without real contact with a friend or family member. I spend 20+ hours everyday alone with only the thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart, and the feet that carry me along the way…


Tonight, as I wandered off on an Adventure, I’m sitting here watching the full moon rise over the Atlantic Ocean… no stars… no clouds… just a brisk wind carry the sound of the waves across my heart while I sit here and wonder…


Do you think the moon gets lonely?


My personal experiment of 30 days is nothing compared to what many people have had to go through the past year… a year of being forced to be alone without energetic contact, or physical touch, or emotional connection with someone close.
As the next step unfolds and the beginning of the aftershock begins to hit, I can’t help but wonder what the lasting effects are going to be of the massive isolation movement hidden behind masks and fear and reintegration into the future of society.
What I see on the road is much different than what I see on social media and the news. I wish I could say one is better or right or more predictable… but I can’t.


What I do know is that there is going to be some difficulties ahead.


All humans want love and attention communicated in a way they understand. People want to be seen, heard, and affirmed.
Here is a simple formula to give positive attention to anyone so we can work to improve the positive energy and reduce the destructive behaviors that follow when people begin to seek validation l through unhealthy means.


3 steps to Positive Attention


Seen

1. Focused Attention: Give the person you’re with your full attention.

Heard

2. Listen to Understand: Become passionately curious about them and what they’re saying (and what they’re not saying) without judgment and ridicule.

Affirmed

3. Leave a Profit: People don’t always need a response or guidance, they just need/want to verbally process what is in their head. Keep your ears open and mouth shut… it will go a long way to healing and providing a positive step in a better direction.


I encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member. Maybe you need an ear or maybe they need an smile.


Share some positivity today.

Give some kindness today.

Fill your heart with Joy today.


And no matter how lonely you are, remember the moon shines it’s brightest all alone.

What’s your best 1st step forward?

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So how do I get started? Here’s my advice for taking the first step toward better fitness and health.

What’s your “WHY”? What do you REALLY want out of this? Do you want to be healthy, lose some weight or look great in a Speedo? Or do you want to have the energy to play with your kids, be more attentive with your spouse and become a better person to be around. My “WHY” was the second set of reasons, not the first. When I felt like giving up, these were the reasons I didn’t grab the second plate of food, I went for the walk, I woke up early and stayed focused even when I didn’t want to. Find your “WHY” and take relentless massive action toward it!

Don’t focus on too much too fast. Pick one or two things and work really hard on them for 30 days. If you are doing really well, add something new. If not, refocus and make sure you put the habits in place that will carry you! I would rather focus on changing the underlying cause of the problem than just the symptoms. When you find a problem, go after the source!

Stick to a schedule. I prefer an “everyday” activity because this is how I built my daily disciplines. I would oversleep and then drive my happy tail across town and sit in my car at the rec center instead of just saying screw it for the day and getting an extra 20 minutes of sleep. I slowly started getting up a little earlier and working out for 10 minutes. I finally got tired of it so I started getting up on time and putting in a full workout. This has been one of the top 3 disciplines I have cemented over the past 3 years. Don’t underestimate that one missed workout. I believe it’s more important to go through the motions than it is to actually workout.

Be Positive, Be Patient, Be Persistent. I’m adding this because it is my mantra. I hate waiting. I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! So I repeat this statement everyday while I drink my coffee. (I seriously had it put on my coffee cup as a reminder) I used to weigh myself 4 times a day. Was it obsessive? Yes. Did it work for me? Yes. I also know people who only weigh themselves once a week. They have had tremendous success with it. As with your whole plan- trial and error & and find out what works best for YOU!!!

Don’t over complicate it. I know it is tempting to read every book, blog and try something new every week when you aren’t seeing instant results. Find a plan and work it every single day. If you screw today up, forget about it. It’s gone. You can’t do anything about it… Don’t dwell on the bad day- move on. Minimize the bad days and maximize the good days. To this day, this is still my focus. If I mess up a day, I move on and get back on track tomorrow. Don’t have two bad days in a row!

With running- run when you can, walk if you have to, but never ever finish early. I couldn’t run a full block when I started. It sucked. It was hard. We worked on it and followed our plan and let time work in our favor. I’m not here to B.S. you- it’s going to be hard. It’s going to take time. Days when you don’t want to get off the couch. Days when you want to eat everything in sight. Days when you just don’t feel like it. There are going to be days when you want to quit. DON’T! It is so worth sticking it out and being uncomfortable. Think of your “WHY” to get you through the hard days.

Whatever you do, however you do it, start TODAY!!! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is too far away. What you do today (good or bad) effects all of your tomorrows. Start with a piece of paper, write down your “WHY”, make plan, post your plan where you will read it every day and start taking action! Stop waiting and stop overthinking. Just start with what you can do right now. Your future self will thank you!

Are you joining us for Self Care is the Best Care?? Self Care is the Best Care

Slow Down…

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Slow down?

Really Gary? That’s your advice for me?… I thought you were here to help me do more, get more, accomplish more?… What kind of advice is SLOW DOWN?

Slow down…

Just for a few minutes, slow down. Even better, slow down and give yourself some positive focused attention… for just a moment. When you STOP you will find out exactly where you are.

Where is your head going?

Where is your mouth running?

Where is your heart longing?

Where are your feet standing?

Are you aligned and heading in the same direction of productivity?… or are you moving 100 different directions which takes you into a circle and spiral of busy?

So often we are ‘busy’ because it “feels” good rather than ‘productive’ because it “feels” slow… yet what ‘feels’ good now is probably going to hurt later and what is uncomfortable now is more likely to provide more Joy in the future.

I ask you once again to slow down and even STOP for just a moment. Let your head, mouth, heart, and feet realign so you can take the best step forward in the NOW rather than continuing the spiraling effect of busy always running to the next urgency or emergency rather than taking a moment to organize your priorities that will move you forward in the best way for YOU.

If you are looking for a Jump Start, Kick Start, or Fresh Start and want a little guidance and community please check out the upcoming events and sign up today. Some are free and some are a small fee.

Self Care is the Best Care

I challenge you to 100 days of Growth!

See you soon!

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat…

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Anything worth doing is worth repeating over and over and over again until it becomes a part of you.

There are 4 primary steps to modifying your mindset toward a new goal or destination.

  • Awareness
  • Clarity
  • Prioritize
  • Focus

This is all before the intended action even begins moving forward.

I often hear how difficult it is to start a new habit. Many times I see how a person drifts from their focus while habitually falling back into the actions they have followed for years and decades. The frustration and overwhelm of having to repeat a thought, an action, a situation over and over and over again with the temporary feelings of disgust.

The rules of the game are set by a force much greater than us. The universe has some basic laws she follows, and it is not in our ability to change the rules. The idea of fighting the rules and working against the natural laws is exhausting and a game we will never win… so why not just learn the rules and do your best to become effective and efficient within the confinements of the reality we live in?

Do you “KNOW” or do you continue to get a “NO”?

  • K stands for Knowledge
  • N stands for Negative
  • O stands for Opposing
  • W stands for Wisdom

Understanding and Acceptance of the Natural Laws turns ‘NO’ into ‘YES’!

Knowledge x Understanding x Acceptance = Wisdom

Without Knowledge or Understanding or Acceptance there can be no Wisdom.

Anything multiplied by a negative receives a negative outcome…

(+ x + x – = -)

Any positives multiplied by any positives receives a positive outcome…

(+ x + x + = +)

What does this have to do with Personal Development?

Everything…

The basic Laws of the Universe give us the tools to improve our life, if we are just willing to open our mind… if we listen to understand… understand to accept the great laws rather than working against the exact force which is designed to help us grow forward.

Time moves forward, at the same speed, every single day, for as long as history has been recorded in written form.

The earth rotates the same direction, at the same speed, every single day, for as long as history has been recorded in written form.

The seasons come and the seasons go, in the same order, at the same consistency, for as long as history has been recorded in written form.

I beg to ask the questions…

  • Why do humans, for some reason in this era of more information than has even been available to a single person and the world, believe they can somehow change the Laws of the Universe, now, at this point in time?
  • Why do humans believe complicated scientific theories or explanations can somehow alter the basic Laws of Physics?
  • Why do humans believe quick fixes and instant results can somehow be brought forward with a cheap product or a ‘secret’ process that contradicts the basic Laws of Psychology?
  • Why do humans believe quick riches and monetary gain can somehow be attracted or manifested overnight in ways that counteract the basic Laws of Economics?

At what point did the ability to sell millions of books or have millions of podcast listeners or have millions of video subscribers somehow create movements of people who think they can somehow outsmart the basic laws that have governed Earth for thousands, millions, or even billions or years?

It is simple really…

  • Time.
  • Attention.
  • Energy.
  • Feelings.

The people who make the most noise get the most attention, know how to exert their energy toward creating feelings that move people to focus on a certain amount of time to show the results they need or want to project to keep the attention, energy, feelings, and time of the people who can pay the most focus toward the cause in which is most profitable in the current cycle.

There is no secret to life or change or business or health or fitness or anything really… culture and society knows the best marketing campaign to provide the loudest message to provoke the right feelings at the right time from the right people to get what is best for them in that current moment in time.

Society and Culture is playing a game… and we are the losers.

The only real way to counteract the noise of the world is to regain your own Personal Power over three areas of yourself.

  • Mindset
  • Behaviors
  • Environment

There are three primary areas of life you will want to focus on the regain your Personal Power.

  • Business
  • Fitness
  • Family

IF you are willing to look at the 6 primary areas of your current daily routines, you can begin to Climb YOUR Mountain of Personal Power so you can live the life you want to live.

  • Mindset Outlets: Intellectual and Creativity
  • Progressive Behaviors: Forward Movement and Physical Exercitation
  • Environmental Support: Spiritual and Emotional Releases

To begin to take the first steps forward, it is important to Clear the Clutter.

  • Create the Awareness of what you are currently doing.
  • Begin to remove clutter and barriers that are obvious and distracting you from taking a positive step forward.
  • Organize and Prioritize the direction you want to go and the steps you want to take to get there.
  • Focus…
  1. Focus Forward on the top priority.
  2. Focus your Attention on the FIRST step forward.
  3. Remove the Clutter of distractions and FEAR…

Start moving FORWARD with the FIRST step toward the rest of your life…

Take the first step.

Repeat.

Repeat again.

Repeat again and again.

Repeat again and again and again.

Repeat again and again and again and again.

Do NOT quit MOVING FORWARD!

Give yourself a hand.

Give yourself some grace.

Give yourself a chance.

Give yourself the opportunity to learn and grow and discover a whole new world you didn’t even know was possible by simply moving in the direction you want to go and repeating the action until you find the next best step forward in the direction of your goals and dreams!

Always cheering for you,
Gary

I have had some people ask recently what I do and what coaching relationship with me is like. Here is a quick synopsis. If you or anyone you know might be interested, please feel free to schedule a time that is convenient for you. I would love to find out more about you and see how I can add value to your life.

The basics:
I focus on mindset, behavior, and environmental modifications in business, fitness, and life. This is a fancy way of saying, we chat for an hour a week over the phone and we set goals, develop an action plan, and troubleshoot as we go to make sure we build consistent forward progress.

The calls have 3 main areas:
Sunshine- What’s going well
Sunset- What’s not going so well
Sunrise- How we can move forward in a positive direction

https://coachgary.as.me/tackaction

Can’t wait to chat!

Is TIME holding you down?…

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Time…

The misconception of time, the comparison of numbers, the justification through explanation… it all comes down to the temporary feelings of what could’a, should’a, and would’a been done or is acceptable if we can just find a way to justify it with numbers.

Time is one of the most misunderstood concepts in human history. It doesn’t even exist. The subconscious mind doesn’t understand time. Culture manipulates the perception of time depending on how it will benefit their marketing cause or bottom line.

Anything can be manipulated if given enough time, or shown in a small enough snippet of time yet the universe is built on nearly infinite time. Written recorded history has been kept for the human’s understanding of about 6,000 years. Science has guesstimated the earth is millions and possibly billions of human years old.

The Sun (the true source of energy in our solar system) is said to be nearly infinite in how long it will provide light and energy. It could be millions and billions of years before the sun stops producing energy.

What does this have to do with personal development?

Everything.

Humans are a tiny blip in the universe. The earth. Nature. The atmosphere. The sun and moon. The solar system. The universe. The possibility of multiple universes and solar systems far beyond our comprehension… yet one thing remains a mystery…

Time.

What if??…

What if time doesn’t exist?

Yes, the sun comes up and the sun goes down. The earth revolves around the sun and as a byproduct creates an estimate of weather patterns we call seasons.

What if everything we think we know is manipulated between our conscious mind and our subconscious mind to the point that we aren’t thinking about time properly?

What if the idea that we should be losing weight or healing from childhood trauma or making a million dollars or getting married by 30 or living in a huge mansion debt free or living the ‘American Dream’ by 40 or retiring at 55 is all just a made-up scenario with a mystical time frame to keep our mind trapped and focused on the guilt and shame which causes us to lose focus on the one thing that truly matters on this planet and in our hearts.

Joy.

Joy is defined as a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

I am not an expert on history or biblical text and I am in no way affiliated with a formal church or religion, however, I came across a quote that has had a profound influence on my life.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

As this is one of the oldest written texts and has been used for 2000 years as guide for life, I couldn’t help taking a deeper look into my own interpretation of the words. In the best selling book in human history, love and joy and peace are not brought by a mass accumulation of things or feelings in the shortest amount of time… but the accumulation of love and joy and peace with the accumulation of time and patience and kindness and faithfulness and gentleness and self-control.

The ancient definition which describes the way to a joyful and loving life is in quite the exact opposite of how current culture and societal influences would lead us to believe. The striving for overindulgence of pleasure and the complete avoidance of discomfort in the smallest amount of time is a strong and reoccurring message wherever we go, in all we see, and in each form of media we tend to focus on because it captures our attention.

If I haven’t lost you by now, I want to leave you with a strong and powerful lesson I have learned from my own experiences and the experiences I have learned working with the wonderful people I get to work with each week.

Time is infinite and constantly flowing. There is no beginning. There is no ending. There is only a chance to refresh our heart and mind and body with the lessons of yesterday and our mind on today taking the solid step forwards into our tomorrow.

There is no race.

There is no time limit.

There is no finish line.

There is only the chance to reassess where you are today and focus on where you want to go tomorrow while taking the step today. We cannot slow down or speed up time. We cannot change the rules. We cannot cheat the basic laws of the universe that guide our mental, physical, and spiritual energy.

Media and marketing plows will do anything and everything they can to tap the pain points within our psyche and play off the instant gratification culture they have created to show the short-term positives of the product they are pushing or the perceived lack of long term negatives from that which they want us to consume today.

Time will keep moving forward.

You logically know what is best for you today and tomorrow.

You emotionally know what is best for you today and tomorrow.

You spiritually know what is best for you today and tomorrow.

It takes the development of Personal Power to keep your head, heart, mouth, and feet aligned so you can take the step forward with your feet planted firmly on the ground as to not lose your balance and fall into the cluttered noise.

*Climb YOUR Mountain of Personal Power = Self Awareness + Self Discipline + Self Confidence + Self Worth* (More to come on these steps in the future)

Don’t let the noise of the world overtake your thoughts, feelings, and actions down the undesirable path of losing who you are in order to prove your worth to a bunch of people who don’t care beyond a social media like or a negative comment they won’t even remember making tomorrow. I give you permission to do what is best for yourself. I am allowing you the grace to take the time you need and want to understand where you are today, heal from all that has happened in your yesterdays, and gain the knowledge and wisdom you need to regain your personal power tomorrow.

Take the ultimate lesson from the Sun…

Find YOUR Inner Sunshine through:

-Creative and Intellectual Outlets
-Physical Exertion and Forward Progress
-Emotional and Spiritual Releases

Look inside to great a ball of internal fire and explode for all to see. With each inner explosion, you will create an everlasting energy so bright the universe can’t help but watch and stare with delight as you shine your light and let your energy be… oh so bright.

Namaste