You’d be surprised how much can change in 90 days.

And 6 months, too.

A year could be the transformation you’ve always dreamed of.

There is one thing that needs to move for all of the above to be brought to you.

YOU.

For the results of your decisions to change, it is up to you to change your actions.

For the environment to change, it is up to you to change your environment.

For your thoughts to change, it is up to you to change your thoughts.

For your emotions to change, it is up to you to change your emotions.

When a farmer harvests their crops in the season of fall and decides they want to harvest a different crop the following year, they plant a different seed. We would look on them as foolish if they planted the same seed they always planted and expected a different result… yet as society, likely due to poor education and cultural influences, we believe that it is outside circumstances which create the lives we live.

To learn personal responsibility and self-discipline is to learn to gain personal power over individuality toward a more joyful life.

Notice the concept is personal responsibility AND self-discipline. The importance is to understand each supports the other.

Personal responsibility is to do what is in one’s best interest while self-discipline is taking the action which will create a more desirable outcome in the future. To have power over one’s self requires an individual to take into consideration what actions are taken today effect all of their tomorrows. Often, due to social and cultural influences, an individual believes they can do ‘live for today’ with no regard for the outcomes or consequences from their decisions and actions.

For one to ‘live for today’ to only gain pleasure for oneself and then pass off the consequences of their thoughts and actions onto another later is not freedom, but irresponsibility. To pass on the undesirable results onto others without regard for the actions each individual participated in shows a lack of maturity.

The importance of the lesson, knowing the mind remembers everything and the universe is always keeping score, is to understand we cannot cheat the laws she has laid out for us. There is no thought that can be unthinked, there is no action that be undone, there is no emotion which can go unfelt…

To know and understand and to accept what is, while letting go of what is not, is to allow each individual to design their life in a more positive way which will allow more positive thoughts, actions, and environmental influences to enter their life.

To build the foundation of personal responsibility through self-discipline will go a long way to providing an individual with the strength and courage to think more positive thoughts, take more positive actions, and feel more positive emotions while they learn to gain the personal power from with so they may crowd out the necessary need to control situations and overindulge in the freedom of ‘living for today’ while disregarding any care or responsibility for tomorrow.

It is in having the foresight for tomorrow that allows us to live for today providing the peace from within for all of our yesterdays giving us the power to focus on the life we live today with happiness and joy built within.

Dear Class of 2020,

Congratulations on your big welcome into the real world. You have officially graduated during one of the most interesting times of the world with instability and uncertainty as far as you can see. I am so proud of the adversity and setbacks you are about to face. I hope you are able to look into the future and know with the difficulties ahead, you have the choice to hideaway while hoping the outside world will save you or you can make the choice to walk into the storm creating the opportunity to live a joyful life of personal success.

Before we get started, I want to let you know why I am so excited for you. I, too, graduated college during a time of instability and uncertainty. In late 2008, the stock market crashed, and the world economic turmoil followed shortly after creating what we now know as “The Great Recession”. I walked across the stage receiving my diploma in a worthless subject, loads of student debt, overweight, with no real people or work skills, and my wife and I had a baby on the way. Needless to say, I was concerned about what the world had in store for me.

I was offered two positions after graduation; one was an entry level positive with McDonald’s and one was as a sales position at Toyota. The position at Toyota paid a little more, so with my lack of people skills, zero business sense, and nothing but hope that something better was on the horizon, I took the sales job…

I took a job I hated and had no skills in during one of the most difficult economies of the past hundred years and turned the experience into a lesson I will never forget.

Within 90 days, having no sales under my belt and the economic atmosphere freefalling, I asked about a book on how to sell a car. This is the day that turned my life around. I read a book on personal development, then another, then another. I developed myself every day. I learned, I practiced, I stumbled, I failed, and every time I felt like quitting, I took one more step forward until I built myself into the person I needed to become. I earned my way to the top producing salesperson for nearly 6 years and worked in sales management for about the same length of time.

I learned to gain control of my health. After stepping on the scale at 400 pounds in March 2013, I took a step out of my kitchen and around the block until I earned better fitness and health by losing 200 pounds and teaching myself to run 100 miles. In the process of losing myself on the outside, I overcame depression and alcohol abuse through journaling and meditation. I discovered who I was on the inside despite the societal pressure and cultural norms that told me to fall in line with conformity and comfort.

I learned to produce my own income, manage my health, and overcome adversity and failure in every aspect of life; business, fitness, and family.

My point of telling you my story is to let you know you are not alone in your journey. I have spoken with numerous graduates who are disappointed they have not found their dream job yet. More have moved back in with their parents due to financial or emotional stability concerns. The stress and anxiety, the depression and disappointment looms and the downward spiral is and will continue if there is nothing to reverse the process.

Here is the good and the hard news about your situation.

There is only one person who has the power to modify your current position.

The person is the voice in your head.

The person is who puts your shoes on every day.

The person is the one looking back at you in the mirror.

The only person who can change your situation is YOU.

 

I would love to tell you all the things you want to hear, but it wouldn’t do you any good. No one else can do ‘it’ for you. No one else can get you the job. No one else can disrupt your current patterns of thoughts and behaviors. Change is up to YOU.

Here are a couple quick tips to help you disrupt the process of drifting down the path of disappointment and despair so you can regain your personal power and take the necessary step forward toward the rest of your life. Always remember where you start is not where you finish if you have the flexibility to change and the awareness to take calculated risk outside your comfort zone.

• The job you take and don’t want might be your best learning experience for you future
• Learn to live uncomfortably
• Learn to self-educate and grow yourself from the inside
• Break away for societal expectations and cultural norms to create your own version of success
• Learn to find opportunity and value in every experience; the good and the hard

Many of us can be here to guide you with strategy, support and encourage you through setbacks and adversities while holding you accountable to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Yet it is up to YOU and only YOU to look in the mirror and take the step forward. Learn the value of personal responsibility and self-discipline and you will be well on your way to breaking out and breaking through toward a joyful and successful life you want to live.

I want to leave you with a way to disrupt your current cycle and break out into a positive direction for your future. Here is a simple guided self-coaching exercise to help you Just Think!? your way through your current thought and behavioral patterns.

This exercise works best if you practice out loud in front of a mirror or working through it in a written journal. Repetition and Consistency are two keys to making this exercise work for you. The more you practice, the more you will convince yourself, the more action you will take, and the more confidence you will build while moving forward toward your goals.

Ask and answer these questions ‘out loud’ in the mirror, journaling, or both. You will find the more you do, the easier it will get and the more clarity you will discover as you go.

• Who am I, TODAY?
• What are my strengths?
• What are my weaknesses?
• What do I want in the future?
• Who do I need to become to get what I want in the future?
• What positive actions am I taking toward my goals?
• What actions am I not taking that is holding me back?
• Why am I holding myself back from taking the step forward?
• What am I afraid of?
• Why am I afraid?
• How can I move past my fear?
• What action can I take right now that will move me forward one step

 

Learning to focus on the one step in front of us can help us remove the overwhelming anxiety of all the external circumstances while we focus on the most important aspect of self. The one person we have the power to change is our self. The one aspect of the world we have control over is our self. The one focus we should take advantage of is our self.

Times are hard, I understand.

Things are different than what you had imagined, I get it.

The level of fear, doubt, insecurities, and external resistance is huge, I know.

Yet with all the turmoil outside of self, it is more important than ever for you to look on the inside to find the light that will carry you through the darkness.

You will stumble.

You will fall.

You will get beat up.

You will get hurt.

You will experience difficulty.

You will get your heartbroken.

You will experience pain.

It is up to you if you use the hard experiences to develop and grow or if you live in the pain and suffering and remain sheltered from the circumstances.

You have a choice…

Will you take advantage of the opportunity to find the Sunshine and Hope from the Darkness the world has thrust upon you?

 

I would be more than happy to find a time to work with you to get started. Please feel free to schedule a complimentary call with me. https://coachgary.as.me/intro

If you want to listen to my new book in audio form- Here you go! Of course I it would be great if you picked up a copy from myself or Amazon, but I would rather you have access to the information right now. With the difficulties of life and the uncertainty of the future, the value in the information is far more important to me than the money. I hope you enjoy and please let me know if you have any feedback, questions or would like to set up a one on one strategy session.

The Corner of Sunshine and Hope is a quick and simple read that mixes part of my personal story and teaches you the simple and effective process I have used to create a positive mindset toward a forward direction even when life is most difficult. I show you how to begin journaling your way out of painful and destructive thoughts and actions. My process mixes Journaling, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Guided Self Coaching to help you find love and light even in the darkest night.

For more information you can reach me at garystotler.com

Schedule a 60 minute strategy coaching session: https://coachgary.as.me/call60

Pick you a copy here: https://amzn.to/2Vi75A4

Spotify Audio: https://open.spotify.com/show/5AIfSOFJGpdlDpWC93fqdh

iTunes Audio: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gary-stotler/id1502582113

The mental health struggle is real… About now, reality is setting in for most people…

Work is closed. The kids are home. More time with your partner.

People need progress… and stagnation causes poor thoughts and behaviors to creep in.

This is the new reality and it is stretching the mental limits of many people. The human mind can only take so much change in a short amount of time and anything beyond the comfort zone will naturally create tension, stress, anxiety and even depression is a short amount of time.

I am thankfully very lucky that I have been able to live a somewhat normal life through all the “outside noise” but there are a few things that bother me.

For one; my clients’ lives are being disrupted. This is the biggest concern for me because I know there are more people that are running into the exact same issues.

For two; as basic as I can put this statement, the mental health struggles that are about to hit are real and if we don’t plan ahead and work to prevent the build up of these issues, there will be more problems that compound in the future…

So, I want to help you the best way I can.

I want to have a cup of coffee with you. No matter where you are in the world, I want to sit down and have a chat. I am giving away my time and energy to help people who need and want the social time and/or the mental health outlet. I am opening the small chunks of time because I love what I do, and I know the value a kind word and an open ear in a time of change.

Let’s sit down and have a cup of coffee and I will listen to what you have on your mind, understand your situation or struggles and together we will develop a positive action plan to help you work through the overwhelming situation and anxiety of the unknown.

Here is how it works.

Schedule a time here: https://coachgary.as.me/phonecoffee

Then, just hop on the 30 minute Zoom Call. You can do video or audio, which ever you would prefer and all I ask is you be ready at the scheduled time. I don’t care if you are in your pajamas, your office, your house or wherever because this is YOUR time.

The only thing I ask is to be intentional with this time. I am still running my full wellness coaching business and I have obligations to my current clients so please respect my time and attention as I will also respect your time with my full attention.

There are a limited number of spots available per day, but I hope you will have the courage to schedule a time. Thank you and I look forward to chatting with you!