Selling Happily Ever Afters…

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Selling Bull Shit Happily Ever Afters…

No, it isn’t as easy as calories in and calories out.


No, training for a single race will not improve your long term fitness and health.


No, a magic 45 day fitness program will not undo twenty years of poor choices.


No, going Vegan won’t solve all your health problems.


No, this pill and that product is not the ‘key’ you have been missing.

No, weight loss surgery is not as simple as a procedure and then all the work is done.

Cut the bull shit… look behind the marketing… ask better questions… dig your feet in and let’s actually do the work to clear your head of the poor self talk, degrading attempt for perfection, and the lost confidence that crushes hopes and dreams of better fitness, health, and wellness for a few easy payments of $29.99 or an attachment to a group or activity that someone swears “that’s how they did it”…


People quit on their fitness and health journey every single day because when reality hits, the person who sold them the easy way is gone and onto the next person who will feed their ego through attention and profit.


Perfection is absolute bull shit. There is no one, no after how good their social media life sounds, that is perfect with their fitness, health, and wellness journey. There is no perfect diet and/or full proof exercise plan.
If someone is selling you a process that sounds too good to be true, it is.


If someone is selling a lifestyle that they swear consists only of easy things and fast results, it’s bull shit.


If someone is selling you fast, easy, and cheap… you’d better start picking yourself up and dusting yourself off to put in more time and harder effort later.


If someone is selling you ‘the secrets’, they are selling you a spruced up and repackaged box of information that has been around for hundreds of years.


Have you ever noticed that most movies end with a “Happier Ever After”?


Why is that?


Likely because hard work doesn’t sell million of dollars worth of worthless knik knacks… just as selling the reality of patience and persistence mixed with a solid commitment to consistency doesn’t sell very well.


Oh wait, there’s more…


Have you ever noticed that our social norms and cultural expectations are all built around causing an overindulgence in poor behaviors and we are continually blasted with messages that feed our insecurities and self talk?


Then what?


Who do you get to go for when you need support, encouragement, or accountability?
Who is there for you when there is no one who will give you their full focused attention? Or Listen to Understand you rather than cutting you off to pass judgements or ridicule or their unsolicited advice? Or who will walk with you so you can celebrate the wins? Or to work through the challenges? Or to sit in silence with you because there are no words needed, no effective commentary that will change anything, or who will breathe with you because a simple calm voice is all you need and want at that moment in time?


If you are struggling with finding your footing and building a solid step forward, call me. I will walk with you. We will set you up to succeed by creating a Positive Mindset, building Solid Disciplines, and maintain a Strong Foundation to build any goal you desire to dream about.


If you will have the Courage to call, I’ll guide you toward the Strength to continue.
Your first call is on me.


You have nothing to lose… and a whole life to gain.


https://coachgary.as.me/tackaction

Always Cheering for You, Gary

Does the moon get lonely?

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Traveling alone is one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had the opportunity to do. Over 25k miles across the United States in the past year…  through the backroads and big cities to see the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets from lighthouses, beaches, colorful waters, the highest mountains, and everywhere in between.


It is rare when I miss my goal of having an intentional conversation with a stranger. I pass out a few business cards every day too. I’m often surrounded by masses of people.
Yet, one thing drifts into my life many nights.


Loneliness.


Often it is comforted by the aloneness I feel from the inside. I am very lucky to have a solid and positive relationship with myself.
There are however, a few times here and there, when loneliness strikes hard.
It does make sense, I don’t really fit in anywhere with many people. I live an adventurous life but I don’t follow many cultural norms.

I often feel very boring and left out…
I don’t drink or smoke.
I rarely eat out as I still struggle with my relationship with food.
I don’t have a partner to call or friends who can come along. 


I spend my days listening to the stories of the people I meet along the way, knowing the relationship will end soon and I will be back to my own little world without much of a fanfare.


I have spent the last month without physically seeing anyone that I know. 30 days without real contact with a friend or family member. I spend 20+ hours everyday alone with only the thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart, and the feet that carry me along the way…


Tonight, as I wandered off on an Adventure, I’m sitting here watching the full moon rise over the Atlantic Ocean… no stars… no clouds… just a brisk wind carry the sound of the waves across my heart while I sit here and wonder…


Do you think the moon gets lonely?


My personal experiment of 30 days is nothing compared to what many people have had to go through the past year… a year of being forced to be alone without energetic contact, or physical touch, or emotional connection with someone close.
As the next step unfolds and the beginning of the aftershock begins to hit, I can’t help but wonder what the lasting effects are going to be of the massive isolation movement hidden behind masks and fear and reintegration into the future of society.
What I see on the road is much different than what I see on social media and the news. I wish I could say one is better or right or more predictable… but I can’t.


What I do know is that there is going to be some difficulties ahead.


All humans want love and attention communicated in a way they understand. People want to be seen, heard, and affirmed.
Here is a simple formula to give positive attention to anyone so we can work to improve the positive energy and reduce the destructive behaviors that follow when people begin to seek validation l through unhealthy means.


3 steps to Positive Attention


Seen

1. Focused Attention: Give the person you’re with your full attention.

Heard

2. Listen to Understand: Become passionately curious about them and what they’re saying (and what they’re not saying) without judgment and ridicule.

Affirmed

3. Leave a Profit: People don’t always need a response or guidance, they just need/want to verbally process what is in their head. Keep your ears open and mouth shut… it will go a long way to healing and providing a positive step in a better direction.


I encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member. Maybe you need an ear or maybe they need an smile.


Share some positivity today.

Give some kindness today.

Fill your heart with Joy today.


And no matter how lonely you are, remember the moon shines it’s brightest all alone.

Take the Detour…

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Detours…

We have access to the most precise technology ever imagined. We plan our day, our travel, our everything based on the little device we hold in our had. We know EXACTLY where we are going, what the weather will be, how to get there, and even what the distance and time will be from here to there. We type it in our little device and hit ‘GO’! and we are off to our destination. We don’t even have to think anymore… we just get in the plane, train, or automobile and we let the unknowns and uncertainties brush off our shoulders so we can focus on the more urgent tasks of the day.

But… then…

Have you ever been driving and missed a turn, had to slow down because of construction, or even had to stop for rush hour traffic?

How did that make you feel?

Did you get frustrated or angry?

Where you stressed or anxious?

How did you physically and verbally react the situation?

Have you ever wondered why?…

What creates the reactions you have when you are faced with something that doesn’t fit your “plan”?

Let’s look into this for just a moment.

What is your reaction?

Why do you react this way?

How would you prefer to respond to setbacks and adversities?

Have you ever sat back and thought about how much longer it actually takes when you turn on the wrong road or have to go 5-10 mph under your desired speed?

It is under 5 minutes in most cases. (Yes, I know there are ALWAYS exceptions to the circumstances.)

Is the thought of ‘losing’ 5 minutes worth losing the personal power over your thoughts, feelings, and actions for the rest of the day?

Are you really in that big of a hurry to get where you are going?

Is 5 minutes really going to make of break the rest of your life?

If it is, I have some bold news to pass along to you.

Look in the mirror, it is your fault.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break your entire day, then you have set yourself up with the thoughts, feelings, and actions which have taken you to this point. The insistent need to take care of the urgencies and emergencies you have rather than focusing on the major priorities has led you too exactly where you are.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break you, I would suggest you start with looking at where you are mentally, physically, emotionally so you can align yourself with reality… knowing where you truly are is the best step you can take to moving forward in the BEST possible direction, FOR YOU!

Start where you are… and then you can begin to work to where you want to go.

That sounds harsh Gary…. Thank you for blaming me for all my own problems… but… but… but… it is not my fault…

Yes, I understand how you feel. I felt the same way in my own life until I found out that I am the only person that has power over my thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is up to me to focus my attention on what I can control versus all the things I can’t. Then, I had to learn to listen to myself to understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. Listening to myself without judgment or ridicule allowed me to find the weak spots in my day so I knew where to focus my efforts.

Then, I had to set myself up to be better in the future… Leaving a profit in my own life. Learning to focus my energy on the KNOWNS vs the unknowns and uncertainties allowed me to live in the present. Living in the NOW is truly the only way we can live a JOYFUL and HAPPY life.

Attempting to live in the past creates the suffering of loss and depression.

Attempting to live in the future creates the suffering of worry and anxiety.

Attempting to live in the now releases the tension between the past and the present allowing more of our emotional energy to be used toward more positive thoughts, more desirable behaviors, and creating the best possible environment we can surround ourselves with to thrive.

Living our best life truly comes from being present and living in the NOW.

But Gary, how do we do that?

The best first step is to STOP!

(You are going to meditate for less than 60 seconds. This will be how to create your own “state” of NOW. Learning to STOP and TAKE A BREATH is the way for you to learn to dam the river of negativity and break the cycle of undesirable thoughts and emotions to curb the destructive behaviors that follow.)

The next best step is to close your eyes (if you are in a safe place to do so) take a HUGE BREATH IN and then a HUGE RELIEVEING BREATH OUT.

(Breath in the Sunshine… breath out the Darkness…)

Then ask 3 primary questions:

What am I feeling?

Why am I feeling this way?

How can I take the best first step forward in a more positive direction?

NOW GO!

Take that first step in the new direction! The moment you hesitate, you lost your ‘state’, and you will be heading back down the old path that led you to where you are today. Fear fills the empty space between thought and action. If you hesitate, the negative self-talk monster will show up and begin eating your courage away from you.

Don’t worry about making mistakes or how long it will take or even if you will get all the way to the end…

There is no course map.

There is no pacer.

There is no finish line.

There is no time limit.

There is only the direction of your heart, the focus of your mind, and the step you are in that will lead you everywhere you want to go… or nowhere at all.

Take the wrong turns…

Slowdown in traffic…

Accept the detours…

Live your best life by learning to make the best of today, healing from yesterday, and dreaming about tomorrow knowing by doing the best you can today, all your tomorrows will compound into more than you can ever imagine.

Always cheering for you,

Gary

What’s your best 1st step forward?

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So how do I get started? Here’s my advice for taking the first step toward better fitness and health.

What’s your “WHY”? What do you REALLY want out of this? Do you want to be healthy, lose some weight or look great in a Speedo? Or do you want to have the energy to play with your kids, be more attentive with your spouse and become a better person to be around. My “WHY” was the second set of reasons, not the first. When I felt like giving up, these were the reasons I didn’t grab the second plate of food, I went for the walk, I woke up early and stayed focused even when I didn’t want to. Find your “WHY” and take relentless massive action toward it!

Don’t focus on too much too fast. Pick one or two things and work really hard on them for 30 days. If you are doing really well, add something new. If not, refocus and make sure you put the habits in place that will carry you! I would rather focus on changing the underlying cause of the problem than just the symptoms. When you find a problem, go after the source!

Stick to a schedule. I prefer an “everyday” activity because this is how I built my daily disciplines. I would oversleep and then drive my happy tail across town and sit in my car at the rec center instead of just saying screw it for the day and getting an extra 20 minutes of sleep. I slowly started getting up a little earlier and working out for 10 minutes. I finally got tired of it so I started getting up on time and putting in a full workout. This has been one of the top 3 disciplines I have cemented over the past 3 years. Don’t underestimate that one missed workout. I believe it’s more important to go through the motions than it is to actually workout.

Be Positive, Be Patient, Be Persistent. I’m adding this because it is my mantra. I hate waiting. I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! So I repeat this statement everyday while I drink my coffee. (I seriously had it put on my coffee cup as a reminder) I used to weigh myself 4 times a day. Was it obsessive? Yes. Did it work for me? Yes. I also know people who only weigh themselves once a week. They have had tremendous success with it. As with your whole plan- trial and error & and find out what works best for YOU!!!

Don’t over complicate it. I know it is tempting to read every book, blog and try something new every week when you aren’t seeing instant results. Find a plan and work it every single day. If you screw today up, forget about it. It’s gone. You can’t do anything about it… Don’t dwell on the bad day- move on. Minimize the bad days and maximize the good days. To this day, this is still my focus. If I mess up a day, I move on and get back on track tomorrow. Don’t have two bad days in a row!

With running- run when you can, walk if you have to, but never ever finish early. I couldn’t run a full block when I started. It sucked. It was hard. We worked on it and followed our plan and let time work in our favor. I’m not here to B.S. you- it’s going to be hard. It’s going to take time. Days when you don’t want to get off the couch. Days when you want to eat everything in sight. Days when you just don’t feel like it. There are going to be days when you want to quit. DON’T! It is so worth sticking it out and being uncomfortable. Think of your “WHY” to get you through the hard days.

Whatever you do, however you do it, start TODAY!!! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is too far away. What you do today (good or bad) effects all of your tomorrows. Start with a piece of paper, write down your “WHY”, make plan, post your plan where you will read it every day and start taking action! Stop waiting and stop overthinking. Just start with what you can do right now. Your future self will thank you!

Are you joining us for Self Care is the Best Care?? Self Care is the Best Care

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat…

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Anything worth doing is worth repeating over and over and over again until it becomes a part of you.

There are 4 primary steps to modifying your mindset toward a new goal or destination.

  • Awareness
  • Clarity
  • Prioritize
  • Focus

This is all before the intended action even begins moving forward.

I often hear how difficult it is to start a new habit. Many times I see how a person drifts from their focus while habitually falling back into the actions they have followed for years and decades. The frustration and overwhelm of having to repeat a thought, an action, a situation over and over and over again with the temporary feelings of disgust.

The rules of the game are set by a force much greater than us. The universe has some basic laws she follows, and it is not in our ability to change the rules. The idea of fighting the rules and working against the natural laws is exhausting and a game we will never win… so why not just learn the rules and do your best to become effective and efficient within the confinements of the reality we live in?

Do you “KNOW” or do you continue to get a “NO”?

  • K stands for Knowledge
  • N stands for Negative
  • O stands for Opposing
  • W stands for Wisdom

Understanding and Acceptance of the Natural Laws turns ‘NO’ into ‘YES’!

Knowledge x Understanding x Acceptance = Wisdom

Without Knowledge or Understanding or Acceptance there can be no Wisdom.

Anything multiplied by a negative receives a negative outcome…

(+ x + x – = -)

Any positives multiplied by any positives receives a positive outcome…

(+ x + x + = +)

What does this have to do with Personal Development?

Everything…

The basic Laws of the Universe give us the tools to improve our life, if we are just willing to open our mind… if we listen to understand… understand to accept the great laws rather than working against the exact force which is designed to help us grow forward.

Time moves forward, at the same speed, every single day, for as long as history has been recorded in written form.

The earth rotates the same direction, at the same speed, every single day, for as long as history has been recorded in written form.

The seasons come and the seasons go, in the same order, at the same consistency, for as long as history has been recorded in written form.

I beg to ask the questions…

  • Why do humans, for some reason in this era of more information than has even been available to a single person and the world, believe they can somehow change the Laws of the Universe, now, at this point in time?
  • Why do humans believe complicated scientific theories or explanations can somehow alter the basic Laws of Physics?
  • Why do humans believe quick fixes and instant results can somehow be brought forward with a cheap product or a ‘secret’ process that contradicts the basic Laws of Psychology?
  • Why do humans believe quick riches and monetary gain can somehow be attracted or manifested overnight in ways that counteract the basic Laws of Economics?

At what point did the ability to sell millions of books or have millions of podcast listeners or have millions of video subscribers somehow create movements of people who think they can somehow outsmart the basic laws that have governed Earth for thousands, millions, or even billions or years?

It is simple really…

  • Time.
  • Attention.
  • Energy.
  • Feelings.

The people who make the most noise get the most attention, know how to exert their energy toward creating feelings that move people to focus on a certain amount of time to show the results they need or want to project to keep the attention, energy, feelings, and time of the people who can pay the most focus toward the cause in which is most profitable in the current cycle.

There is no secret to life or change or business or health or fitness or anything really… culture and society knows the best marketing campaign to provide the loudest message to provoke the right feelings at the right time from the right people to get what is best for them in that current moment in time.

Society and Culture is playing a game… and we are the losers.

The only real way to counteract the noise of the world is to regain your own Personal Power over three areas of yourself.

  • Mindset
  • Behaviors
  • Environment

There are three primary areas of life you will want to focus on the regain your Personal Power.

  • Business
  • Fitness
  • Family

IF you are willing to look at the 6 primary areas of your current daily routines, you can begin to Climb YOUR Mountain of Personal Power so you can live the life you want to live.

  • Mindset Outlets: Intellectual and Creativity
  • Progressive Behaviors: Forward Movement and Physical Exercitation
  • Environmental Support: Spiritual and Emotional Releases

To begin to take the first steps forward, it is important to Clear the Clutter.

  • Create the Awareness of what you are currently doing.
  • Begin to remove clutter and barriers that are obvious and distracting you from taking a positive step forward.
  • Organize and Prioritize the direction you want to go and the steps you want to take to get there.
  • Focus…
  1. Focus Forward on the top priority.
  2. Focus your Attention on the FIRST step forward.
  3. Remove the Clutter of distractions and FEAR…

Start moving FORWARD with the FIRST step toward the rest of your life…

Take the first step.

Repeat.

Repeat again.

Repeat again and again.

Repeat again and again and again.

Repeat again and again and again and again.

Do NOT quit MOVING FORWARD!

Give yourself a hand.

Give yourself some grace.

Give yourself a chance.

Give yourself the opportunity to learn and grow and discover a whole new world you didn’t even know was possible by simply moving in the direction you want to go and repeating the action until you find the next best step forward in the direction of your goals and dreams!

Always cheering for you,
Gary

I have had some people ask recently what I do and what coaching relationship with me is like. Here is a quick synopsis. If you or anyone you know might be interested, please feel free to schedule a time that is convenient for you. I would love to find out more about you and see how I can add value to your life.

The basics:
I focus on mindset, behavior, and environmental modifications in business, fitness, and life. This is a fancy way of saying, we chat for an hour a week over the phone and we set goals, develop an action plan, and troubleshoot as we go to make sure we build consistent forward progress.

The calls have 3 main areas:
Sunshine- What’s going well
Sunset- What’s not going so well
Sunrise- How we can move forward in a positive direction

https://coachgary.as.me/tackaction

Can’t wait to chat!

Is TIME holding you down?…

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Time…

The misconception of time, the comparison of numbers, the justification through explanation… it all comes down to the temporary feelings of what could’a, should’a, and would’a been done or is acceptable if we can just find a way to justify it with numbers.

Time is one of the most misunderstood concepts in human history. It doesn’t even exist. The subconscious mind doesn’t understand time. Culture manipulates the perception of time depending on how it will benefit their marketing cause or bottom line.

Anything can be manipulated if given enough time, or shown in a small enough snippet of time yet the universe is built on nearly infinite time. Written recorded history has been kept for the human’s understanding of about 6,000 years. Science has guesstimated the earth is millions and possibly billions of human years old.

The Sun (the true source of energy in our solar system) is said to be nearly infinite in how long it will provide light and energy. It could be millions and billions of years before the sun stops producing energy.

What does this have to do with personal development?

Everything.

Humans are a tiny blip in the universe. The earth. Nature. The atmosphere. The sun and moon. The solar system. The universe. The possibility of multiple universes and solar systems far beyond our comprehension… yet one thing remains a mystery…

Time.

What if??…

What if time doesn’t exist?

Yes, the sun comes up and the sun goes down. The earth revolves around the sun and as a byproduct creates an estimate of weather patterns we call seasons.

What if everything we think we know is manipulated between our conscious mind and our subconscious mind to the point that we aren’t thinking about time properly?

What if the idea that we should be losing weight or healing from childhood trauma or making a million dollars or getting married by 30 or living in a huge mansion debt free or living the ‘American Dream’ by 40 or retiring at 55 is all just a made-up scenario with a mystical time frame to keep our mind trapped and focused on the guilt and shame which causes us to lose focus on the one thing that truly matters on this planet and in our hearts.

Joy.

Joy is defined as a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

I am not an expert on history or biblical text and I am in no way affiliated with a formal church or religion, however, I came across a quote that has had a profound influence on my life.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

As this is one of the oldest written texts and has been used for 2000 years as guide for life, I couldn’t help taking a deeper look into my own interpretation of the words. In the best selling book in human history, love and joy and peace are not brought by a mass accumulation of things or feelings in the shortest amount of time… but the accumulation of love and joy and peace with the accumulation of time and patience and kindness and faithfulness and gentleness and self-control.

The ancient definition which describes the way to a joyful and loving life is in quite the exact opposite of how current culture and societal influences would lead us to believe. The striving for overindulgence of pleasure and the complete avoidance of discomfort in the smallest amount of time is a strong and reoccurring message wherever we go, in all we see, and in each form of media we tend to focus on because it captures our attention.

If I haven’t lost you by now, I want to leave you with a strong and powerful lesson I have learned from my own experiences and the experiences I have learned working with the wonderful people I get to work with each week.

Time is infinite and constantly flowing. There is no beginning. There is no ending. There is only a chance to refresh our heart and mind and body with the lessons of yesterday and our mind on today taking the solid step forwards into our tomorrow.

There is no race.

There is no time limit.

There is no finish line.

There is only the chance to reassess where you are today and focus on where you want to go tomorrow while taking the step today. We cannot slow down or speed up time. We cannot change the rules. We cannot cheat the basic laws of the universe that guide our mental, physical, and spiritual energy.

Media and marketing plows will do anything and everything they can to tap the pain points within our psyche and play off the instant gratification culture they have created to show the short-term positives of the product they are pushing or the perceived lack of long term negatives from that which they want us to consume today.

Time will keep moving forward.

You logically know what is best for you today and tomorrow.

You emotionally know what is best for you today and tomorrow.

You spiritually know what is best for you today and tomorrow.

It takes the development of Personal Power to keep your head, heart, mouth, and feet aligned so you can take the step forward with your feet planted firmly on the ground as to not lose your balance and fall into the cluttered noise.

*Climb YOUR Mountain of Personal Power = Self Awareness + Self Discipline + Self Confidence + Self Worth* (More to come on these steps in the future)

Don’t let the noise of the world overtake your thoughts, feelings, and actions down the undesirable path of losing who you are in order to prove your worth to a bunch of people who don’t care beyond a social media like or a negative comment they won’t even remember making tomorrow. I give you permission to do what is best for yourself. I am allowing you the grace to take the time you need and want to understand where you are today, heal from all that has happened in your yesterdays, and gain the knowledge and wisdom you need to regain your personal power tomorrow.

Take the ultimate lesson from the Sun…

Find YOUR Inner Sunshine through:

-Creative and Intellectual Outlets
-Physical Exertion and Forward Progress
-Emotional and Spiritual Releases

Look inside to great a ball of internal fire and explode for all to see. With each inner explosion, you will create an everlasting energy so bright the universe can’t help but watch and stare with delight as you shine your light and let your energy be… oh so bright.

Namaste