Moment of Gratitude

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Please let me introduce the man who saved my life. The coach, the mentor, the friend I worked so hard to find. He has stayed in the shadows as we have walked through the deepest darkest bottoms. He has stood with me on the highest brightest mountains.

He taught me to move.

He taught me to feel.

He taught me to breathe.


Most importantly, he taught me to think.
He has traveled many miles alongside me in heart and mind. He convinced me if it is going to be it is up to me to shut my mouth and follow the process with my body.


He has felt the bone crushing tears stream right through me and cheered for me while no one was watching.


He is firm yet fair, teaching me how to focus my attention toward my one intentional direction. He remained patiently persistent with me as we committed to consistency over all else. During the most difficult times he would remove every layer of assistance from me to stimulate creative intelligence as I had to overcome challenges and hardships with no assistance.


He always knew it was more important to fail at something we wanted than to settle for less than we desired. He would remind me that for a baby to learn to walk, the parent must let go and let the baby learn to get back up over and over again.

The constant reminder to try this way and that way… we learn as much from how not to do than we do from doing it ‘until’ we succeed.


He would wait for me to scream and yell and laugh and cry as I struggled and clawed and found my own path to the top always standing there with his great big grin reaching palm up to pull me the last step through. He would challenge me to review anything and everything I did to grow personally while we dissected the new potential I discovered.


He taught me to coach. To listen, to hear, to mix intelligent emotion gives all who you speak a firm foot forward


He forced me to write. When you have only yourself, you must learn to understand yourself. The greatest book you will ever write is the handwritten notebook you pass onto your kids with all the wisdom money cannot buy.


He built my communication skills as powerful as a hurricane. Your duty is to have the ability to give any man, woman, or child your full and undivided attention so they know you see them, you must hear every word they say and every word their body shows. Most importantly you should leave them better than you found them through your powerful communication mixed with forceful positive enthusiasm which leaves them with butterflies floating around inside.


As I pass on the lessons I’ve learned from and grown to discover a potential far beyond my comprehension, I hope you will explore the knowledge and understanding to build wisdom you can take on your journey.


To the man who changed my life and picked me up at rock bottom and built me into the man I am today…


I owe you everything I have and all I still have to gain in the pursuit to follow my promise. 


Leave a Profit everywhere I go with all I meet which will sure make me very difficult to beat.


How will you Climb Your Mountain?

Focused Awareness

Intentional Disciplines

Build Confidence

Accept your Worth

Overcoming Challenges Stimulates Personal Power and Discovery of Your New Potential

Does the moon get lonely?

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Traveling alone is one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had the opportunity to do. Over 25k miles across the United States in the past year…  through the backroads and big cities to see the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets from lighthouses, beaches, colorful waters, the highest mountains, and everywhere in between.


It is rare when I miss my goal of having an intentional conversation with a stranger. I pass out a few business cards every day too. I’m often surrounded by masses of people.
Yet, one thing drifts into my life many nights.


Loneliness.


Often it is comforted by the aloneness I feel from the inside. I am very lucky to have a solid and positive relationship with myself.
There are however, a few times here and there, when loneliness strikes hard.
It does make sense, I don’t really fit in anywhere with many people. I live an adventurous life but I don’t follow many cultural norms.

I often feel very boring and left out…
I don’t drink or smoke.
I rarely eat out as I still struggle with my relationship with food.
I don’t have a partner to call or friends who can come along. 


I spend my days listening to the stories of the people I meet along the way, knowing the relationship will end soon and I will be back to my own little world without much of a fanfare.


I have spent the last month without physically seeing anyone that I know. 30 days without real contact with a friend or family member. I spend 20+ hours everyday alone with only the thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart, and the feet that carry me along the way…


Tonight, as I wandered off on an Adventure, I’m sitting here watching the full moon rise over the Atlantic Ocean… no stars… no clouds… just a brisk wind carry the sound of the waves across my heart while I sit here and wonder…


Do you think the moon gets lonely?


My personal experiment of 30 days is nothing compared to what many people have had to go through the past year… a year of being forced to be alone without energetic contact, or physical touch, or emotional connection with someone close.
As the next step unfolds and the beginning of the aftershock begins to hit, I can’t help but wonder what the lasting effects are going to be of the massive isolation movement hidden behind masks and fear and reintegration into the future of society.
What I see on the road is much different than what I see on social media and the news. I wish I could say one is better or right or more predictable… but I can’t.


What I do know is that there is going to be some difficulties ahead.


All humans want love and attention communicated in a way they understand. People want to be seen, heard, and affirmed.
Here is a simple formula to give positive attention to anyone so we can work to improve the positive energy and reduce the destructive behaviors that follow when people begin to seek validation l through unhealthy means.


3 steps to Positive Attention


Seen

1. Focused Attention: Give the person you’re with your full attention.

Heard

2. Listen to Understand: Become passionately curious about them and what they’re saying (and what they’re not saying) without judgment and ridicule.

Affirmed

3. Leave a Profit: People don’t always need a response or guidance, they just need/want to verbally process what is in their head. Keep your ears open and mouth shut… it will go a long way to healing and providing a positive step in a better direction.


I encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member. Maybe you need an ear or maybe they need an smile.


Share some positivity today.

Give some kindness today.

Fill your heart with Joy today.


And no matter how lonely you are, remember the moon shines it’s brightest all alone.

Take the Detour…

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Detours…

We have access to the most precise technology ever imagined. We plan our day, our travel, our everything based on the little device we hold in our had. We know EXACTLY where we are going, what the weather will be, how to get there, and even what the distance and time will be from here to there. We type it in our little device and hit ‘GO’! and we are off to our destination. We don’t even have to think anymore… we just get in the plane, train, or automobile and we let the unknowns and uncertainties brush off our shoulders so we can focus on the more urgent tasks of the day.

But… then…

Have you ever been driving and missed a turn, had to slow down because of construction, or even had to stop for rush hour traffic?

How did that make you feel?

Did you get frustrated or angry?

Where you stressed or anxious?

How did you physically and verbally react the situation?

Have you ever wondered why?…

What creates the reactions you have when you are faced with something that doesn’t fit your “plan”?

Let’s look into this for just a moment.

What is your reaction?

Why do you react this way?

How would you prefer to respond to setbacks and adversities?

Have you ever sat back and thought about how much longer it actually takes when you turn on the wrong road or have to go 5-10 mph under your desired speed?

It is under 5 minutes in most cases. (Yes, I know there are ALWAYS exceptions to the circumstances.)

Is the thought of ‘losing’ 5 minutes worth losing the personal power over your thoughts, feelings, and actions for the rest of the day?

Are you really in that big of a hurry to get where you are going?

Is 5 minutes really going to make of break the rest of your life?

If it is, I have some bold news to pass along to you.

Look in the mirror, it is your fault.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break your entire day, then you have set yourself up with the thoughts, feelings, and actions which have taken you to this point. The insistent need to take care of the urgencies and emergencies you have rather than focusing on the major priorities has led you too exactly where you are.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break you, I would suggest you start with looking at where you are mentally, physically, emotionally so you can align yourself with reality… knowing where you truly are is the best step you can take to moving forward in the BEST possible direction, FOR YOU!

Start where you are… and then you can begin to work to where you want to go.

That sounds harsh Gary…. Thank you for blaming me for all my own problems… but… but… but… it is not my fault…

Yes, I understand how you feel. I felt the same way in my own life until I found out that I am the only person that has power over my thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is up to me to focus my attention on what I can control versus all the things I can’t. Then, I had to learn to listen to myself to understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. Listening to myself without judgment or ridicule allowed me to find the weak spots in my day so I knew where to focus my efforts.

Then, I had to set myself up to be better in the future… Leaving a profit in my own life. Learning to focus my energy on the KNOWNS vs the unknowns and uncertainties allowed me to live in the present. Living in the NOW is truly the only way we can live a JOYFUL and HAPPY life.

Attempting to live in the past creates the suffering of loss and depression.

Attempting to live in the future creates the suffering of worry and anxiety.

Attempting to live in the now releases the tension between the past and the present allowing more of our emotional energy to be used toward more positive thoughts, more desirable behaviors, and creating the best possible environment we can surround ourselves with to thrive.

Living our best life truly comes from being present and living in the NOW.

But Gary, how do we do that?

The best first step is to STOP!

(You are going to meditate for less than 60 seconds. This will be how to create your own “state” of NOW. Learning to STOP and TAKE A BREATH is the way for you to learn to dam the river of negativity and break the cycle of undesirable thoughts and emotions to curb the destructive behaviors that follow.)

The next best step is to close your eyes (if you are in a safe place to do so) take a HUGE BREATH IN and then a HUGE RELIEVEING BREATH OUT.

(Breath in the Sunshine… breath out the Darkness…)

Then ask 3 primary questions:

What am I feeling?

Why am I feeling this way?

How can I take the best first step forward in a more positive direction?

NOW GO!

Take that first step in the new direction! The moment you hesitate, you lost your ‘state’, and you will be heading back down the old path that led you to where you are today. Fear fills the empty space between thought and action. If you hesitate, the negative self-talk monster will show up and begin eating your courage away from you.

Don’t worry about making mistakes or how long it will take or even if you will get all the way to the end…

There is no course map.

There is no pacer.

There is no finish line.

There is no time limit.

There is only the direction of your heart, the focus of your mind, and the step you are in that will lead you everywhere you want to go… or nowhere at all.

Take the wrong turns…

Slowdown in traffic…

Accept the detours…

Live your best life by learning to make the best of today, healing from yesterday, and dreaming about tomorrow knowing by doing the best you can today, all your tomorrows will compound into more than you can ever imagine.

Always cheering for you,

Gary

What’s your best 1st step forward?

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So how do I get started? Here’s my advice for taking the first step toward better fitness and health.

What’s your “WHY”? What do you REALLY want out of this? Do you want to be healthy, lose some weight or look great in a Speedo? Or do you want to have the energy to play with your kids, be more attentive with your spouse and become a better person to be around. My “WHY” was the second set of reasons, not the first. When I felt like giving up, these were the reasons I didn’t grab the second plate of food, I went for the walk, I woke up early and stayed focused even when I didn’t want to. Find your “WHY” and take relentless massive action toward it!

Don’t focus on too much too fast. Pick one or two things and work really hard on them for 30 days. If you are doing really well, add something new. If not, refocus and make sure you put the habits in place that will carry you! I would rather focus on changing the underlying cause of the problem than just the symptoms. When you find a problem, go after the source!

Stick to a schedule. I prefer an “everyday” activity because this is how I built my daily disciplines. I would oversleep and then drive my happy tail across town and sit in my car at the rec center instead of just saying screw it for the day and getting an extra 20 minutes of sleep. I slowly started getting up a little earlier and working out for 10 minutes. I finally got tired of it so I started getting up on time and putting in a full workout. This has been one of the top 3 disciplines I have cemented over the past 3 years. Don’t underestimate that one missed workout. I believe it’s more important to go through the motions than it is to actually workout.

Be Positive, Be Patient, Be Persistent. I’m adding this because it is my mantra. I hate waiting. I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! So I repeat this statement everyday while I drink my coffee. (I seriously had it put on my coffee cup as a reminder) I used to weigh myself 4 times a day. Was it obsessive? Yes. Did it work for me? Yes. I also know people who only weigh themselves once a week. They have had tremendous success with it. As with your whole plan- trial and error & and find out what works best for YOU!!!

Don’t over complicate it. I know it is tempting to read every book, blog and try something new every week when you aren’t seeing instant results. Find a plan and work it every single day. If you screw today up, forget about it. It’s gone. You can’t do anything about it… Don’t dwell on the bad day- move on. Minimize the bad days and maximize the good days. To this day, this is still my focus. If I mess up a day, I move on and get back on track tomorrow. Don’t have two bad days in a row!

With running- run when you can, walk if you have to, but never ever finish early. I couldn’t run a full block when I started. It sucked. It was hard. We worked on it and followed our plan and let time work in our favor. I’m not here to B.S. you- it’s going to be hard. It’s going to take time. Days when you don’t want to get off the couch. Days when you want to eat everything in sight. Days when you just don’t feel like it. There are going to be days when you want to quit. DON’T! It is so worth sticking it out and being uncomfortable. Think of your “WHY” to get you through the hard days.

Whatever you do, however you do it, start TODAY!!! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is too far away. What you do today (good or bad) effects all of your tomorrows. Start with a piece of paper, write down your “WHY”, make plan, post your plan where you will read it every day and start taking action! Stop waiting and stop overthinking. Just start with what you can do right now. Your future self will thank you!

Are you joining us for Self Care is the Best Care?? Self Care is the Best Care

Slow Down…

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Slow down?

Really Gary? That’s your advice for me?… I thought you were here to help me do more, get more, accomplish more?… What kind of advice is SLOW DOWN?

Slow down…

Just for a few minutes, slow down. Even better, slow down and give yourself some positive focused attention… for just a moment. When you STOP you will find out exactly where you are.

Where is your head going?

Where is your mouth running?

Where is your heart longing?

Where are your feet standing?

Are you aligned and heading in the same direction of productivity?… or are you moving 100 different directions which takes you into a circle and spiral of busy?

So often we are ‘busy’ because it “feels” good rather than ‘productive’ because it “feels” slow… yet what ‘feels’ good now is probably going to hurt later and what is uncomfortable now is more likely to provide more Joy in the future.

I ask you once again to slow down and even STOP for just a moment. Let your head, mouth, heart, and feet realign so you can take the best step forward in the NOW rather than continuing the spiraling effect of busy always running to the next urgency or emergency rather than taking a moment to organize your priorities that will move you forward in the best way for YOU.

If you are looking for a Jump Start, Kick Start, or Fresh Start and want a little guidance and community please check out the upcoming events and sign up today. Some are free and some are a small fee.

Self Care is the Best Care

I challenge you to 100 days of Growth!

See you soon!

Resolve this New Year

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“Start where you are and work toward where you want to be.”

Resolve is to decide firmly on a course of action and settle or find a solution to a problem, dispute, or contentious matter…

With the new year, it is simple to look at the blank calendar ahead and wonder what is next. For some, the new year is filled with excitement. A fresh start after a difficult year. Maybe this year will be the time things change.

For others, a new year means the old year is gone and it could mean going from hero to zero… in just the moment the clock turns 12 and the year rolls over to ’21. A great year has ended and then anxiety of the next is sure to follow without a clear direction forward.

There are a few, when the statistics are broken down, that have a goal and a plan and a way to move forward with excitement and anticipation as the new year means it’s another opportunity to keep moving forward in the direction of their goals and dreams.

Whether you are starting or finishing or hoping to begin again, I want to leave you with a quick set of steps you can use to reset your mindset, behaviors, and environment into the new year. This is not an exhaustive list nor is it the “secret” to goal setting, yet it is a great place to start moving forward. The best place to start is where you are so you can work to where you want to go. If you are doing the best you possibly can, that’s a solid step to take.

The simple journal process is designed to help clear the clutter of overwhelm and move forward toward focusing on creating a focused vision toward the future you desire.

Grab a pen and some paper and let’s get started!

  • If I could have anything I wanted, what would it be?
  • Why do I wake up in the morning?
  • Where do I want to spend my time and attention?
  • What creative talents would I want to express?
  • What intellectually stimulates and challenges me to grow?
  • How do I want my emotional/spiritual journal to feel?
  • How would I eat and exercise to live my best life?
  • Where do I want to personally grow this year?
  • Who do I admire that I could learn from?
  • Who would I like to share my life with?
  • How could I grow forward toward the person I want to become?
  • When is the best time to take the first step forward?

These questions are designed to get the process of thoughts flowing for you. Let your mind wonder. Ponder each question, think out loud, write your answers as if they are going into the trash, and allow yourself the grace to run free like you would have as a kid. As you work though the questions, you will notice the mind opens up and releases thoughts, feelings, and desires to begin taking action. Things will come to mind and sound great while quickly fizzling out. Others will start soft and gain more traction as you give them energy and attention.

Once you have allowed yourself the time and attention to marinate on your goals, start to solidify the goals that catch the most attention. Work through the following questions to begin taking the ideas out of your head and placing them into reality with action.

  • What do you want?
  • Why do you want it?
  • How do you plan to get it?
  • Who can help you accomplish your goal?
  • Where will you start taking action?
  • When is the best time to take the first step forward?

As you move forward, it might be a good idea to organize your goals into a few categories. This will help you prioritize your goals depending on your specific priorities and life situation.

  • Business
  • Fitness
  • Family
  • Life

I hope this gives you a solid step forward in building a plan for 2021. I am happy to help with a more specific and personalized plan to help you achieve the goals you are willing to work for in 2021 and Beyond!

Always Cheering for You,

Gary

Food Journaling for Success

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A new look at food journaling…

Goal: Emotional and Behavioral pattern recognition and awareness

WHAT?! are we going to do?

For this exercise, we are going to focus on a few simple things;

  • What we eat (Behavior)
  • Why we eat it (Mindset)
  • When we eat it (Environment)

This should be done in your journal or in simple notebook paper. (Not on a phone or in an app)

The goal is discovery and awareness of patterns of mindset, behaviors, and emotions. We are NOT counting calories. For the purpose of this journal activity, there is no guilt of shame for what we eat or don’t eat. This exercise is designed specifically to record the facts of the situation to understand where our heart, mind, and feet are TODAY.

 

After we record a weeks’ worth of eating activity, we now know what we are doing, the question is WHY?! are we doing it?

Everything I have ever read about eating, diets, losing weight, etc comes with specifics on macros or calories or numbers or shakes or pills… yet how often do we look into the reality of the situation to know where to even begin changing? How often do we look at the real situation to know exactly what our current thoughts, behaviors, and emotions really are?

3 simple yet important questions to we need to ask in order to make a positive change in business, fitness, or life are;

  • What am I currently doing?
  • Why am I taking the action?
  • How should I take the next step forward?

The importance of the simple questions is to understand where our feet are TODAY, where our head is TODAY and what the most reasonable, achievable and challenging step forward is from where we are right now, in this moment in time.

Think of it this way for a minute. If you are in San Diego and you want to go to New York City, you can’t start in Texas… you have to take your first step in San Diego.

If you are struggling with overconsuming less than positive foods and you don’t know the truth of the what and the why you are taking the action, the thought of change is daunting and unlikely for the simple reason of, you are going to try and start in Texas when you’re in San Diego.

 

How will we move forward?

This is a great question and one that must be understood and personalized for each person.

Some people might work on adding in more positive food and crowding out some less than positive food.

Others might work to increase physical movement and reduce overall calorie consumption.

A common side effect of this exercise is when someone realizes they have naturally begun to reduce what they eat and how much they eat simply by bringing awareness and focus to their behaviors in the kitchen.

Think about it, when was the last time you remember eating because you were hungry?

Do you eat because it’s “the time of day”?

Are you eating for “hunger to come”?

Are you eating just because someone mentioned they were going to eat something?

The most interesting part of doing this exercise myself and with my clients is to see what eating patterns we are really following and why we take the actions without even thinking about what we are doing or why we are doing it.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their current thoughts and actions, have them try this exercise to if they discover something about themselves, they didn’t know. Do the exercise to understand, not to hold guilt or shame over your head for where you are today… but to understand how to take the first step in the new direction you have always wanted to go!

 

I would be happy to work through more details with you one on one or to help you understand how to dissect the results and create a strategy for moving forward! You can schedule a call here: https://coachgary.as.me/callgary

Who is Gary Stotler?

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Intro call with Gary!

If you’ve ever been in the same room as Gary, you will know he brings an energy like no one else. His ability to connect and communicate is one of a kind.

Whether you hire Gary in to speak, coach, or to bring your team together, you will not be disappointed with the change in energy. He will challenge you, make you laugh, bring you to tears, and you’ll be begging for more.

Gary has been studying business, transformation, people, goals, action, and personal growth for over 15 years. Through his practical knowledge and personal experiences, he will elevate you and your organization to a whole new level.

Don’t wait another minute…. Contact Gary NOW! Schedule a call so you can begin taking action toward your goals.

Email Gary: gary@garystotler.com

“Perhaps we shall learn, as we pass through this age, that the ‘other self” is more powerful than the physical self we see when we look into a mirror.” – Napoleon Hill

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