Does the moon get lonely?

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Traveling alone is one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had the opportunity to do. Over 25k miles across the United States in the past year…  through the backroads and big cities to see the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets from lighthouses, beaches, colorful waters, the highest mountains, and everywhere in between.


It is rare when I miss my goal of having an intentional conversation with a stranger. I pass out a few business cards every day too. I’m often surrounded by masses of people.
Yet, one thing drifts into my life many nights.


Loneliness.


Often it is comforted by the aloneness I feel from the inside. I am very lucky to have a solid and positive relationship with myself.
There are however, a few times here and there, when loneliness strikes hard.
It does make sense, I don’t really fit in anywhere with many people. I live an adventurous life but I don’t follow many cultural norms.

I often feel very boring and left out…
I don’t drink or smoke.
I rarely eat out as I still struggle with my relationship with food.
I don’t have a partner to call or friends who can come along. 


I spend my days listening to the stories of the people I meet along the way, knowing the relationship will end soon and I will be back to my own little world without much of a fanfare.


I have spent the last month without physically seeing anyone that I know. 30 days without real contact with a friend or family member. I spend 20+ hours everyday alone with only the thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart, and the feet that carry me along the way…


Tonight, as I wandered off on an Adventure, I’m sitting here watching the full moon rise over the Atlantic Ocean… no stars… no clouds… just a brisk wind carry the sound of the waves across my heart while I sit here and wonder…


Do you think the moon gets lonely?


My personal experiment of 30 days is nothing compared to what many people have had to go through the past year… a year of being forced to be alone without energetic contact, or physical touch, or emotional connection with someone close.
As the next step unfolds and the beginning of the aftershock begins to hit, I can’t help but wonder what the lasting effects are going to be of the massive isolation movement hidden behind masks and fear and reintegration into the future of society.
What I see on the road is much different than what I see on social media and the news. I wish I could say one is better or right or more predictable… but I can’t.


What I do know is that there is going to be some difficulties ahead.


All humans want love and attention communicated in a way they understand. People want to be seen, heard, and affirmed.
Here is a simple formula to give positive attention to anyone so we can work to improve the positive energy and reduce the destructive behaviors that follow when people begin to seek validation l through unhealthy means.


3 steps to Positive Attention


Seen

1. Focused Attention: Give the person you’re with your full attention.

Heard

2. Listen to Understand: Become passionately curious about them and what they’re saying (and what they’re not saying) without judgment and ridicule.

Affirmed

3. Leave a Profit: People don’t always need a response or guidance, they just need/want to verbally process what is in their head. Keep your ears open and mouth shut… it will go a long way to healing and providing a positive step in a better direction.


I encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member. Maybe you need an ear or maybe they need an smile.


Share some positivity today.

Give some kindness today.

Fill your heart with Joy today.


And no matter how lonely you are, remember the moon shines it’s brightest all alone.

What’s your best 1st step forward?

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So how do I get started? Here’s my advice for taking the first step toward better fitness and health.

What’s your “WHY”? What do you REALLY want out of this? Do you want to be healthy, lose some weight or look great in a Speedo? Or do you want to have the energy to play with your kids, be more attentive with your spouse and become a better person to be around. My “WHY” was the second set of reasons, not the first. When I felt like giving up, these were the reasons I didn’t grab the second plate of food, I went for the walk, I woke up early and stayed focused even when I didn’t want to. Find your “WHY” and take relentless massive action toward it!

Don’t focus on too much too fast. Pick one or two things and work really hard on them for 30 days. If you are doing really well, add something new. If not, refocus and make sure you put the habits in place that will carry you! I would rather focus on changing the underlying cause of the problem than just the symptoms. When you find a problem, go after the source!

Stick to a schedule. I prefer an “everyday” activity because this is how I built my daily disciplines. I would oversleep and then drive my happy tail across town and sit in my car at the rec center instead of just saying screw it for the day and getting an extra 20 minutes of sleep. I slowly started getting up a little earlier and working out for 10 minutes. I finally got tired of it so I started getting up on time and putting in a full workout. This has been one of the top 3 disciplines I have cemented over the past 3 years. Don’t underestimate that one missed workout. I believe it’s more important to go through the motions than it is to actually workout.

Be Positive, Be Patient, Be Persistent. I’m adding this because it is my mantra. I hate waiting. I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! So I repeat this statement everyday while I drink my coffee. (I seriously had it put on my coffee cup as a reminder) I used to weigh myself 4 times a day. Was it obsessive? Yes. Did it work for me? Yes. I also know people who only weigh themselves once a week. They have had tremendous success with it. As with your whole plan- trial and error & and find out what works best for YOU!!!

Don’t over complicate it. I know it is tempting to read every book, blog and try something new every week when you aren’t seeing instant results. Find a plan and work it every single day. If you screw today up, forget about it. It’s gone. You can’t do anything about it… Don’t dwell on the bad day- move on. Minimize the bad days and maximize the good days. To this day, this is still my focus. If I mess up a day, I move on and get back on track tomorrow. Don’t have two bad days in a row!

With running- run when you can, walk if you have to, but never ever finish early. I couldn’t run a full block when I started. It sucked. It was hard. We worked on it and followed our plan and let time work in our favor. I’m not here to B.S. you- it’s going to be hard. It’s going to take time. Days when you don’t want to get off the couch. Days when you want to eat everything in sight. Days when you just don’t feel like it. There are going to be days when you want to quit. DON’T! It is so worth sticking it out and being uncomfortable. Think of your “WHY” to get you through the hard days.

Whatever you do, however you do it, start TODAY!!! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is too far away. What you do today (good or bad) effects all of your tomorrows. Start with a piece of paper, write down your “WHY”, make plan, post your plan where you will read it every day and start taking action! Stop waiting and stop overthinking. Just start with what you can do right now. Your future self will thank you!

Are you joining us for Self Care is the Best Care?? Self Care is the Best Care

My 2 new books are here!

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I never thought I would publish a book of poetry or behavioral therapy… Well, today is that day. “Songs of a Mountain Man” and “Corner of Sunshine and Hope” are available on Amazon NOW!

Thank you all for you support over the years and just know, these are only the first books and many many more are coming in the future!

 

Songs of a Mountain Man Book CoverSongs of a Mountain Man Book Back

Corner of Sunshine and Hope CoverCorner of Sunshine and Hope Back