Does the moon get lonely?

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Traveling alone is one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had the opportunity to do. Over 25k miles across the United States in the past year…  through the backroads and big cities to see the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets from lighthouses, beaches, colorful waters, the highest mountains, and everywhere in between.


It is rare when I miss my goal of having an intentional conversation with a stranger. I pass out a few business cards every day too. I’m often surrounded by masses of people.
Yet, one thing drifts into my life many nights.


Loneliness.


Often it is comforted by the aloneness I feel from the inside. I am very lucky to have a solid and positive relationship with myself.
There are however, a few times here and there, when loneliness strikes hard.
It does make sense, I don’t really fit in anywhere with many people. I live an adventurous life but I don’t follow many cultural norms.

I often feel very boring and left out…
I don’t drink or smoke.
I rarely eat out as I still struggle with my relationship with food.
I don’t have a partner to call or friends who can come along. 


I spend my days listening to the stories of the people I meet along the way, knowing the relationship will end soon and I will be back to my own little world without much of a fanfare.


I have spent the last month without physically seeing anyone that I know. 30 days without real contact with a friend or family member. I spend 20+ hours everyday alone with only the thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart, and the feet that carry me along the way…


Tonight, as I wandered off on an Adventure, I’m sitting here watching the full moon rise over the Atlantic Ocean… no stars… no clouds… just a brisk wind carry the sound of the waves across my heart while I sit here and wonder…


Do you think the moon gets lonely?


My personal experiment of 30 days is nothing compared to what many people have had to go through the past year… a year of being forced to be alone without energetic contact, or physical touch, or emotional connection with someone close.
As the next step unfolds and the beginning of the aftershock begins to hit, I can’t help but wonder what the lasting effects are going to be of the massive isolation movement hidden behind masks and fear and reintegration into the future of society.
What I see on the road is much different than what I see on social media and the news. I wish I could say one is better or right or more predictable… but I can’t.


What I do know is that there is going to be some difficulties ahead.


All humans want love and attention communicated in a way they understand. People want to be seen, heard, and affirmed.
Here is a simple formula to give positive attention to anyone so we can work to improve the positive energy and reduce the destructive behaviors that follow when people begin to seek validation l through unhealthy means.


3 steps to Positive Attention


Seen

1. Focused Attention: Give the person you’re with your full attention.

Heard

2. Listen to Understand: Become passionately curious about them and what they’re saying (and what they’re not saying) without judgment and ridicule.

Affirmed

3. Leave a Profit: People don’t always need a response or guidance, they just need/want to verbally process what is in their head. Keep your ears open and mouth shut… it will go a long way to healing and providing a positive step in a better direction.


I encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member. Maybe you need an ear or maybe they need an smile.


Share some positivity today.

Give some kindness today.

Fill your heart with Joy today.


And no matter how lonely you are, remember the moon shines it’s brightest all alone.

Take the Detour…

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Detours…

We have access to the most precise technology ever imagined. We plan our day, our travel, our everything based on the little device we hold in our had. We know EXACTLY where we are going, what the weather will be, how to get there, and even what the distance and time will be from here to there. We type it in our little device and hit ‘GO’! and we are off to our destination. We don’t even have to think anymore… we just get in the plane, train, or automobile and we let the unknowns and uncertainties brush off our shoulders so we can focus on the more urgent tasks of the day.

But… then…

Have you ever been driving and missed a turn, had to slow down because of construction, or even had to stop for rush hour traffic?

How did that make you feel?

Did you get frustrated or angry?

Where you stressed or anxious?

How did you physically and verbally react the situation?

Have you ever wondered why?…

What creates the reactions you have when you are faced with something that doesn’t fit your “plan”?

Let’s look into this for just a moment.

What is your reaction?

Why do you react this way?

How would you prefer to respond to setbacks and adversities?

Have you ever sat back and thought about how much longer it actually takes when you turn on the wrong road or have to go 5-10 mph under your desired speed?

It is under 5 minutes in most cases. (Yes, I know there are ALWAYS exceptions to the circumstances.)

Is the thought of ‘losing’ 5 minutes worth losing the personal power over your thoughts, feelings, and actions for the rest of the day?

Are you really in that big of a hurry to get where you are going?

Is 5 minutes really going to make of break the rest of your life?

If it is, I have some bold news to pass along to you.

Look in the mirror, it is your fault.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break your entire day, then you have set yourself up with the thoughts, feelings, and actions which have taken you to this point. The insistent need to take care of the urgencies and emergencies you have rather than focusing on the major priorities has led you too exactly where you are.

If 5 minutes is going to make or break you, I would suggest you start with looking at where you are mentally, physically, emotionally so you can align yourself with reality… knowing where you truly are is the best step you can take to moving forward in the BEST possible direction, FOR YOU!

Start where you are… and then you can begin to work to where you want to go.

That sounds harsh Gary…. Thank you for blaming me for all my own problems… but… but… but… it is not my fault…

Yes, I understand how you feel. I felt the same way in my own life until I found out that I am the only person that has power over my thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is up to me to focus my attention on what I can control versus all the things I can’t. Then, I had to learn to listen to myself to understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. Listening to myself without judgment or ridicule allowed me to find the weak spots in my day so I knew where to focus my efforts.

Then, I had to set myself up to be better in the future… Leaving a profit in my own life. Learning to focus my energy on the KNOWNS vs the unknowns and uncertainties allowed me to live in the present. Living in the NOW is truly the only way we can live a JOYFUL and HAPPY life.

Attempting to live in the past creates the suffering of loss and depression.

Attempting to live in the future creates the suffering of worry and anxiety.

Attempting to live in the now releases the tension between the past and the present allowing more of our emotional energy to be used toward more positive thoughts, more desirable behaviors, and creating the best possible environment we can surround ourselves with to thrive.

Living our best life truly comes from being present and living in the NOW.

But Gary, how do we do that?

The best first step is to STOP!

(You are going to meditate for less than 60 seconds. This will be how to create your own “state” of NOW. Learning to STOP and TAKE A BREATH is the way for you to learn to dam the river of negativity and break the cycle of undesirable thoughts and emotions to curb the destructive behaviors that follow.)

The next best step is to close your eyes (if you are in a safe place to do so) take a HUGE BREATH IN and then a HUGE RELIEVEING BREATH OUT.

(Breath in the Sunshine… breath out the Darkness…)

Then ask 3 primary questions:

What am I feeling?

Why am I feeling this way?

How can I take the best first step forward in a more positive direction?

NOW GO!

Take that first step in the new direction! The moment you hesitate, you lost your ‘state’, and you will be heading back down the old path that led you to where you are today. Fear fills the empty space between thought and action. If you hesitate, the negative self-talk monster will show up and begin eating your courage away from you.

Don’t worry about making mistakes or how long it will take or even if you will get all the way to the end…

There is no course map.

There is no pacer.

There is no finish line.

There is no time limit.

There is only the direction of your heart, the focus of your mind, and the step you are in that will lead you everywhere you want to go… or nowhere at all.

Take the wrong turns…

Slowdown in traffic…

Accept the detours…

Live your best life by learning to make the best of today, healing from yesterday, and dreaming about tomorrow knowing by doing the best you can today, all your tomorrows will compound into more than you can ever imagine.

Always cheering for you,

Gary

Slow Down…

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Slow down?

Really Gary? That’s your advice for me?… I thought you were here to help me do more, get more, accomplish more?… What kind of advice is SLOW DOWN?

Slow down…

Just for a few minutes, slow down. Even better, slow down and give yourself some positive focused attention… for just a moment. When you STOP you will find out exactly where you are.

Where is your head going?

Where is your mouth running?

Where is your heart longing?

Where are your feet standing?

Are you aligned and heading in the same direction of productivity?… or are you moving 100 different directions which takes you into a circle and spiral of busy?

So often we are ‘busy’ because it “feels” good rather than ‘productive’ because it “feels” slow… yet what ‘feels’ good now is probably going to hurt later and what is uncomfortable now is more likely to provide more Joy in the future.

I ask you once again to slow down and even STOP for just a moment. Let your head, mouth, heart, and feet realign so you can take the best step forward in the NOW rather than continuing the spiraling effect of busy always running to the next urgency or emergency rather than taking a moment to organize your priorities that will move you forward in the best way for YOU.

If you are looking for a Jump Start, Kick Start, or Fresh Start and want a little guidance and community please check out the upcoming events and sign up today. Some are free and some are a small fee.

Self Care is the Best Care

I challenge you to 100 days of Growth!

See you soon!

Who is Gary Stotler?

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Intro call with Gary!

If you’ve ever been in the same room as Gary, you will know he brings an energy like no one else. His ability to connect and communicate is one of a kind.

Whether you hire Gary in to speak, coach, or to bring your team together, you will not be disappointed with the change in energy. He will challenge you, make you laugh, bring you to tears, and you’ll be begging for more.

Gary has been studying business, transformation, people, goals, action, and personal growth for over 15 years. Through his practical knowledge and personal experiences, he will elevate you and your organization to a whole new level.

Don’t wait another minute…. Contact Gary NOW! Schedule a call so you can begin taking action toward your goals.

Email Gary: gary@garystotler.com

“Perhaps we shall learn, as we pass through this age, that the ‘other self” is more powerful than the physical self we see when we look into a mirror.” – Napoleon Hill

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