Get out of your head!

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Each week I open up my journal to pick a subject and there are so many things… so many subjects from this week… so many lessons… so many wins… so many losses…there is so much to think about and review and wonder more about…

Recently I have had to just sit back and take a breath… or more like hundreds of them to bring myself back to earth and relieve the weight of suffocation from all the things on my heart and in my mind. I can feel the weight of the world crushing me. I feel the oxygen being pulled from my lungs. The race track in my mind is racing faster than ever just hoping, wishing, wondering what is next and how it will happen.

Most days I sit in the woods and think. Somedays it seems like the answers will never come. The more I press for answers, the more questions I’m asked, the more pressure there is from the outside world, the slower the process goes until it seems to stall with no movement in any direction. The pressure to “figure things out” or “to heal” or to just “know what’s next” weighs down so much and the outside pressure is relentless always sucking the oxygen out as the pressure sits on my chest more and more each day.

No time to just STOP and TAKE A BREATH.

No time to UNDERSTAND what is happening.

No time to THINK about why I am here.

No time to PLAN a step forward because there’s no space to ACCEPT where I am.

The weight of the world…

How often does the weight of the world suffocate you?

Societal Commitments…

Cultural Expectations…

Other’s Opinions…

When will it all just STOP!?

What will it take to do what is BEST FOR YOU!?

The constant consumption…

The constant need for attention…

The constant need for more more more…

When will it all just stop!?……………………..

It really is no wonder the level of depression and stress and frustration and anxiety is at an all time high. It makes perfect sense why people lose focus and drift into the indulgences of temporary gratification of relief rather than putting in the work to find the root cause of their pain which ails them.

It has been said by many who are much smarter than me, the true cause of depression and anxiety and frustration is the difference between expectations and one’s perception of reality. The greater the distance between the expected situation and the actual reality is the cause of unhappiness.

The thought process simplified:

Depression is caused by a large gap between how we think about our past and how we think our past should have been causes the tension in our mind of sadness which if dwelled upon long enough becomes depression.

Frustration is caused by a large gap between how we think our current situations is and how we perceive the situation actually is. The larger the gap, the larger the irritation/stress is which becomes frustration or even high levels of angry/sadness states of mind.

Anxiety is caused by a large gap between the expectations of the future and the outcomes we perceive will actually happen. The larger the gap between the expectation and the perceived future reality, the more likely the attempt to control the future outcomes is. Often people will attempt to control the outcome of the future rather than focusing on taking the proper action in the now. The lack of correlation, trust, or faith in doing what is known to be the proper action now versus needing to know what will happen in the future not only causes large amounts of undesirable emotions within the person feeling the feelings but in the surrounding people who have to feel the effects of this person’s attempt to control thoughts, feelings, behaviors, or outcomes.

The only real “control” we have is that over our OWN thoughts, feelings, actions, in the NOW. We have ZERO control over other people, outcomes, situations, etc… even if it is painful or we don’t want to admit it. The only real power we have is that over self in this moment.

We cannot change our past, so we might as well accept it with understanding so we don’t repeat the mishaps from yesterday.

We cannot change other people in the now, so we might as well accept it with understanding so we can take the best action forward in the now.

We cannot control the future, so we might as well accept personal responsibility for our own emotions, behaviors, and environment and do the best we possibly can now with faith and trust that with positive forward progress, the universe will reward us with outcomes that are not only in our favor, but will lead us down the best path we cannot see yet.

There is no secret to developing the proper mindset and behaviors to live in the NOW and understand the past and let go of the FUTURE with faith knowing you are DOING THE BEST YOU POSSIBILY CAN.

If you are struggling with Depression, Frustration, Anxiety or any other feelings of overwhelm and need to declutter your heart, mind, and body to start fresh today, here is a simple exercise I use.

CLEAR THE CLUTTER

This works best to write out… or with a nonjudgmental and trust friend or coach.

List out everything on your heart, mind, body, or in your life. EVERYTHING! It is important to take your time and don’t rush. Make sure you are truthful with yourself. There is no reason to hold back. You don’t need to look at each thing, just get your pen to paper and start clearing our everything in your head!

Once you have written as much out as you can and have given yourself time to know this is everything, then it is time to move forward. Start at the top and go through your list line by line. Cross out ANYTHING that doesn’t bring value to you NOW or anything you don’t bring value to NOW.

Yes, there are going to be hard things that you are going to cross out. This doesn’t mean what is getting crossed out is gone forever, just for now. If something needs to go, don’t think twice about it, just mark it out and continue.

Once you have completed this step, it is time to start fresh. Start at the top of your old list and rewrite everything that IS NOT crossed out. This step is very important! You have already cleaned out the junk, now it’s time to throw it away!

After you have rewritten everything, it is time to clear the clutter again. This step is going to be tougher but is important. It is likely going to take more time and emotional energy… but it must be done. Line by line, mark out anything else that no longer needs your immediate attention. Step by step, line by line, cross out what needs to go.

After this step is complete, we will start fresh once again. Rewrite everything that made your list onto a fresh sheet of paper so we can throw away all the trash we need out of our way.

By now, we have narrowed down our thoughts, feelings, and actions to the basics. Again, start at the top and now we are going to rate each line on a scale of 1-10. Don’t overthink it or over feel anything, just rate it. If you come across something and aren’t sure, keep moving down the list and come back to it later.

Now that you have rated everything, cross off anything that is a 6 or below. It needs to go right now.

Yes, again, we will clear the clutter and start fresh… rewrite everything that is a 7 and above on a fresh sheet of paper.

Now, here is the magic, the money shot, the value to all of your hard work.

Pick your top three priorities and get to work!

I prefer to organize my top three priorities into 3 categories and pick ONE action item for each knowing if I put too much on my plate, I get overwhelmed too easily and then I’m back to where I was when I started… frustrated and motionless.

My three areas of life:

Business

Fitness

Family

Organizing your activity and putting ONE FOCUS on EACH AREA will help you organize your thoughts, bring awareness to your priorities and help you take the first step toward the proper action in each area!

If I can ever help or if you would like more guidance on this exercise, please feel free to schedule a time for us to get together! https://coachgary.as.me/tackaction

Here is a video I put together a long time ago and has a different viewpoint of this same Clear the Clutter Activity.

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