Colorful Detours

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Detours often lead to unexpected Adventures.


It’s been a while, mostly an intentional break to make sure I was focusing my attention in the proper places. I’ve been debating much within and searching for some understanding from the outside world. I have no more understanding and have yet to find what I’m looking for… I am however finding some peace in the unknowns.


A few weeks has passed since my least favorite day of the year and I found myself a little bit older and not so much wiser and with even less real direction than a year ago.


The oddity of the situation is I have found more peace in the uncertainty than I have had in years past. Most everything I have been before is gone. Most everything I thought I was working toward has disintegrated leaving me with another pile of ashes… once again hoping for a beautiful Phoenix to rise once again.


I believe, with some scientific evidence and with the helpful reflections from many people I have worked with over the years, that we tend to physically manifest that which we emotionally feel.


If we are Joyful, our body exudes energy.
If we are lonely, we often feel empty.
If we are hurt, we often want to feel physical pain.


For a bit of time, I have felt lost. Much of which is living in a body I still don’t understand. I continue to sit in a mind that fascinates me, yet I lack the understanding around It’s full functionality. The life I have is full of much Joy and Energy due to my mindset and activities, yet I still find peace in the solitude of being completely lost with not much more than the horizon to guide my way.


To bring these concepts full circle, I have been feeling lost with a massive storm building inside. As I left my previous destination with a path unknown, I chased a brutal storm racing across the western plains hoping to stand in it’s path so I could feel the cleansing wrath of the wind and water.


I raced it through the deepest forests and down the backroads across the plains never able to catch up. As I became disappointed I was going to miss my chance to be met with the reminisce of my journey, I looked up just above the cows to find the Joyful gift I was missing.


I am in a place I have never been and would never have followed a map to arrive to and I have been gifted with the most full rainbow I’ve ever seen. The colors of the sky mixed with the reflection of the sun setting over the far off horizon has mixed itself into a beautiful energy gifting suprise.


As I immediately stopped chasing the darkness, I was given a fresh view of beautiful light sitting in the great big sky. I took the time to reflect in my moment as I gazed at the natural wonders we often miss passing through our lives ignoring much of what sets our heart free.


If I had a gift I could give directly to you, it would be a detour away from a challenge or adversity you are facing today, this week, this month, this year…


I would not give you the detour to take away from your journey, but to add some life giving energy to rebuild your strength and fortitude to head back into your challenge fully equipped with the stimulation and confidence you need to stand up once again and keep moving forward with your best next step toward your future.


Take an awkward step.

Take a detour.

Take a wrong turn.


Whatever you do….


Just take the step and don’t stop until you get where you want to go.


The difference between a cow and Buffalo is cows run away from the storm and Buffalo run through the storm…


Run like a MF Buffalo.

Selling Happily Ever Afters…

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Selling Bull Shit Happily Ever Afters…

No, it isn’t as easy as calories in and calories out.


No, training for a single race will not improve your long term fitness and health.


No, a magic 45 day fitness program will not undo twenty years of poor choices.


No, going Vegan won’t solve all your health problems.


No, this pill and that product is not the ‘key’ you have been missing.

No, weight loss surgery is not as simple as a procedure and then all the work is done.

Cut the bull shit… look behind the marketing… ask better questions… dig your feet in and let’s actually do the work to clear your head of the poor self talk, degrading attempt for perfection, and the lost confidence that crushes hopes and dreams of better fitness, health, and wellness for a few easy payments of $29.99 or an attachment to a group or activity that someone swears “that’s how they did it”…


People quit on their fitness and health journey every single day because when reality hits, the person who sold them the easy way is gone and onto the next person who will feed their ego through attention and profit.


Perfection is absolute bull shit. There is no one, no after how good their social media life sounds, that is perfect with their fitness, health, and wellness journey. There is no perfect diet and/or full proof exercise plan.
If someone is selling you a process that sounds too good to be true, it is.


If someone is selling a lifestyle that they swear consists only of easy things and fast results, it’s bull shit.


If someone is selling you fast, easy, and cheap… you’d better start picking yourself up and dusting yourself off to put in more time and harder effort later.


If someone is selling you ‘the secrets’, they are selling you a spruced up and repackaged box of information that has been around for hundreds of years.


Have you ever noticed that most movies end with a “Happier Ever After”?


Why is that?


Likely because hard work doesn’t sell million of dollars worth of worthless knik knacks… just as selling the reality of patience and persistence mixed with a solid commitment to consistency doesn’t sell very well.


Oh wait, there’s more…


Have you ever noticed that our social norms and cultural expectations are all built around causing an overindulgence in poor behaviors and we are continually blasted with messages that feed our insecurities and self talk?


Then what?


Who do you get to go for when you need support, encouragement, or accountability?
Who is there for you when there is no one who will give you their full focused attention? Or Listen to Understand you rather than cutting you off to pass judgements or ridicule or their unsolicited advice? Or who will walk with you so you can celebrate the wins? Or to work through the challenges? Or to sit in silence with you because there are no words needed, no effective commentary that will change anything, or who will breathe with you because a simple calm voice is all you need and want at that moment in time?


If you are struggling with finding your footing and building a solid step forward, call me. I will walk with you. We will set you up to succeed by creating a Positive Mindset, building Solid Disciplines, and maintain a Strong Foundation to build any goal you desire to dream about.


If you will have the Courage to call, I’ll guide you toward the Strength to continue.
Your first call is on me.


You have nothing to lose… and a whole life to gain.


https://coachgary.as.me/tackaction

Always Cheering for You, Gary

Attention Transaction Machine

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Remember when you had to pick up the phone to call someone? And if they weren’t there it was ok because you simply left a message and they called back when they could give you the proper attention.
When was the last time you wrote a note or a letter to someone you loved and cared about?


What was the last real conversation you had about the depths of what someone does, or who they are, or how they think?


Where has the ability to communicate and connect with real life humans gone?


Here is maybe a more simple question…


When was the last time you received a text message or a social media comment?


What did that feel like?
Why did you feel this way?
How did you expect to feel?


Do you ever get the impression you have become an Attention Transaction Machine?


I have been working to build my business for many years now and there are a few themes that keep being tossed at me… specifically the use of social media…


“You gotta play the game if you want to go anywhere.”


“Just start giving people likes and comments and they will start to notice you.”


“You can’t talk to real people in this environment… everyone is scared.”


“There is no way you’ll be successful if you don’t use social media.”


“Your idea of talking to real people is impossible- you can’t grow fast enough.”


These are a few of the most common pieces of ‘advice’ people give me… and I find one common theme.


They are all built around feeding the Attention Transaction Machine…


There is very little value in automation. The short term comfort of validation can come and go with a shift in an algorithm.

Connection between people often gets lost in translation between what is said and what is meant and what is interpretated.


All humans want love and attention communicated in a way they understand.

People want to be seen, heard, and affirmed.


Learn to give people your full focused attention (seen), listen to understand without the need to respond (heard), and leave a profit by finding out how you can support them (affirmed).


Following this simple process has given me the unique opportunity to communicate and connect with people on a level most don’t even know exists. The search for real connection is often longed for yet rarely found… in the toughest men and the most quiet women from across the world…


Learn to step out of the box you’re in and hold out your hand to start a real conversation with a stranger to find the step past the Attention Transaction Machine we have been conditioned to stare at over and over again.


On my adventure, I recently had an intentional conversation with a stranger I met on the beach in South Carolina. She asked my what I was doing drawing picture in the sand…


I explained to her I was only expressing my thoughts on the canvas I had in front of me and inspiration just happened to strike then. She smiled and within the next 90 seconds, I knew her entire life story.


She struggles with depression and anxiety, over eating and being under appreciated. Based on our conversation, she hasn’t truly been seen or heard in quite some time.


As our interaction came to a close, I wanted to leave her with a way to crowd out her undesirable feelings and add in feelings that are more beneficial to the life she wants to live.


I let her know what I was about to teach her can be repeated as many times a day, for the rest of her life, and it will cost her absolutely nothing accept the ability to become aware of the mental state she is in and then to remember to STOP and take a breath.


She agreed.


Here we go.


We started by taking a few calm cool breaths… as she began to relax, I had her close her eyes. I asked how she felt and within seconds, had already begun to release the tension in her heart and mind.


I had her take a few more breaths. As we started to breathe deeper and deeper, I asked her to breathe in the Sunshine and exhale the Darkness.


After her first deeper breath in with a new mindset, she immediately relaxed her shoulders and softened her gaze as a smile began to show on her face.


We took a few more breaths, a little deeper inside as I coached her through releasing the weight on her shoulders and clearing the clutter in her mind. With each word spoken and each breath taken she stood taller and brighter.


Here we go I spoke as we get rid of anything else left inside…


We will take three big deep breaths and on the fourth I will command you to briskly exhale all the negativity you hold…. deep breath in… deep breath out…


Again…


One more…


Now HUGE breath IN….


Giant sigh of relief OUT… LET IT ALL GO…..

PHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFF………


Now open your eyes.


As she smiled at me, I asked her…


“How do you feel now?”


She didn’t even need to say anything, I could see everything inside of her was different because everything she projected on the outside was calm and weightless.
She simply smiled at me.
I smiled at her.


I let her know she can go back to this exact mental and emotional state at anytime… no matter what is happening inside or out, just remember to do these simple things…


STOP…

Close your eyes…

Take a deep breath IN as you think about the Sunshine…HUGE deep sigh of relief as you let go of all the weight of your darkness in that moment…Open your eyes and accept your new mindset and physical state.

Continue moving forward with your shoulders back, chin up, and your beautiful smile.


She smiled and gave me a big hug as we parted ways not likely to ever see one another again.


She was on Cloud 9.


I was full of Joy.


No text message or social media response would ever touch the tip of fulfillment we received in that moment…


We didn’t need validation… just some good old fashion positive attention.


If love was our only currency, how wealthy would you be?